Games Humans Play

My human has been teaching me what he calls a new game. I think it is work and he is afraid of getting into trouble with the authorities if he admitted that he is using me as slave labor. His new “game” is called “fetch the paper”. I don’t think it is a game because it is saving him from having to walk down the driveway, lean over and pick up his own paper.

If it is a game then he is game challenged because the rules of the game are very similar to the rules for the game of fetch the tennis ball. The difference is that he does not have to go through the trouble of throwing the paper. Someone else does the throwing of the paper, I bring it in, all the human does is sit and read it, sipping his coffee. I even have to bring it all the way in to the sofa. How lazy can he get? I found out how to get even with him; this morning I picked up the plastic bag by the closed end and scattered paper all over the front lawn. I delivered the orange bag to him, empty.

We need a wider variety of games. The game of “fetch the paper” is very similar to “fetch the tennis ball”, and that is almost exactly like the game he calls “fetch the Frisbee”. He has some other variations on it such as “fetch the stick”, and “fetch the duck”. If your human has a better variation on the game, please let me know. There has to be a better way to get exercise or a new game I could teach him.

My human has been teaching me to carry a water bottle in my mouth; he thinks it’s cute that I have to carry my own drinking water when we take a walk. When we were walking in the big park yesterday, I saw a water bottle sitting beside this nice man who was walking his three Black Labradors, so I picked up the bottle and brought it along. A few minutes later I heard the nice man yelling “your dog stole my water”. My human had to take the water bottle back and apologize for my theft. I got to play with the Black Labs for another five minutes before we moved on.

That’s all for now,
Mogley G. Retriever