A Clean House?

My humans are always apologizing to guests for having a messy house. They point to the four Goldens (Bella and I, along with our visiting cousins, Emma and Piper) in the house and ask the guests “what do you expect with these four in the home”?

Let me set the record straight. A clean house is the sign of a house without enough Golden Retrievers in it! If the house is clean, then there is room for one or two more. So call your local rescues and give a dog a home! What would you rather have, a clean house or licks, wags and wiggles greeting you at the door? In the words of Bill Cosby, "Come On People," get your priorities straight. This is your Golden Opportunity to adopt another dog.
The picture above shows how Piper fights unfairly. She is half the size of Bella and me, so she climbs up on the furniture and jumps down on us, or just sits up there and bits us as we go by. Because she is a guest she gets special privileges. If I get on the furniture I get yelled at. Below is Piper looking pretty pleased with herself for being on the furniture and getting away with it.
The human visited Molly yesterday and brought back a report. Molly is doing well in her new home, she says “hi” to all of her friends. Molly has two teenage boys that play with her and take her for long walks. She has a teenage girl that spoils her beyond belief. She has a big back yard and she is only a city block away from a large lake and a big park. Her favorite trick is when humans ask her “Molly, what would you rather be, a dead dog or a Democrat?” She rolls over and plays dead. She says that trick is always good for a tummy rub or a treat bone. She is a happy dog, thank you very much!

I got into a pack of trouble on my last walk in the big no-leash park. All four of us were running down the path when we passed a baby stroller. My human was a long way back, so I reached into the stroller and stole a mouthful of toys and blankets. Boy did they yell at me. The lady pushing the stroller yelled, my human yelled; talk about a lot of noise. They went into that whole “bad dog!” thing again, you know the one, shaking fingers, grabbing my loot out of my mouth. What is it about baby strollers anyway? If you ask me, humans are too protective of their puppies. They don’t even teach them how to sniff each other properly, no wonder they grow up and only know how to shake hands when they meet.

Licks, Wags and Sniffs,
Mogley G. Retriever