Goldens on Patrol!

The picture was taken as I make my regular rounds patrolling the back yard. I would have posted a better picture but my human won’t let me use the camera. They did not want me using the computer until they learned how carefully I type. They don’t want me to use the camera at all, I did try to use it when no one was looking, it is hard to hold the camera and push the button at the same time.

Humans must be very insecure because they expect me to patrol regularly. What can they be afraid of? I don’t know why humans expect me to run around the back yard and look for intruders, there is never anything worth chasing. Bella takes care of the squirrels, she tries to climb trees to catch them, but I have news for her, she can’t climb high enough to even worry them. Squirrels pose a very low risk to humans anyway, but they are fun to torment. The back yard opens onto a park with several paths, so I have lots of people to bark at, barking lets the human know I am on duty. I sleep beside the bed at night to keep them secure, even though their snoring keeps me awake. What can they be afraid of? It must be cats. They must be afraid that a cat will attack them in the middle of the night. Cats are sneaky and devious. I would not put it past them. Humans think cats purr, it is really a very low growl. The cats are quietly threatening people while sitting on peoples laps, they are evil. That is why I chase them when ever I get the chance, and no humans are watching!

Sleep tight tonight, your Golden Retriever is on guard!

Mogley G. Retriever

Water Dogs are Muddy Dogs!

Humans can be so dumb at times. We are water dogs. Hello! That means we like the water. Today our human took Bella and I down to the dog area at Cherry Creek Park. Several square miles with swamps, prairie, woods, and lots of other dogs, all running off leash. He said he wanted to work with us on our hand signs and voice commands. We had fun running back and forth, smelling the deer tracks, the raccoon tracks and lots of dog trails. We ran and ran; we were good and hot even though it was a chilly winter day. Then we went to work, following commands just like the good dogs we are. Another Golden Retriever came out of the brush and the swamp, soaking wet and covered in mud. While our humans talked, Bella and I found the swamp. The human told us to stay dry, he called us back, but water calls more loudly than a human does. Bella and I just wanted to cool off, so we jumped into the swamp and had a swim. When he called us back we had to ignore him for several minutes or else we would have had no fun at all. What good is it to get in the water, get wet and muddy, then not be allowed to splash, play and enjoy it? He gave us the “bad dog” routine, lecturing us about running instead of responding when he called us back from the edge of the swamp. I would have grabbed a duck while I was in the swamp, that would have earned me a treat instead of a bath but his yelling scared all the ducks away.

This was our third trip to the park in two days. Yesterday when we went into the swamp our human got all upset, he called us back, then when we came running he told us to stay away from him. He is difficult to understand. We only wanted to share the nice mud with him; we had lots of it on us to share. He looks good with doggy paw prints all over him. He took us home and gave us a bath.

Two baths in two days is probably a new record. We smelled wonderful when we came out of the swamp. He gave us a bath with scented shampoo and we ended up smelling like sissy dogs. The perfume alone would have been enough reason for us to jump into the mud. I hope we wants to work on voice commands again, the park is sure fun!

Mogley

A Golden Story!

Today I am re-posting a wonderful e-mail I received from Evie. Evie’s story is proof that “You can teach an old dog new tricks, you can even teach them to blog”. The perfect dog is not one you buy from a breeder or a pet store, the perfect dog is one that has already been trained by his owners, and now is homeless. A homeless dog that finds the love of a new family offers greater love than you will ever know, they appreciate you and all that you do for them. Read Evie’s story, then call your local rescue and find room in your heart and in your home for the best friend you will ever have!

Dear Mogley,

Hi, I am Evie and would like to share my story with you.

I am an 8 year old Golden Retriever and through no fault of my own I found myself homeless at the end of last summer. Something about my people moving and they couldn't take me with them. I have to tell you I was scared out of my mind. I am not a cute little puppy or even a young dog in my prime. I am a senior, a little heavy and I had this big tumor on my side. Who would ever want me? Well, I have to tell you I lucked out. My owner did a good thing and turned me over to Mary at GRRR.

Mary took me to Dr. Carpenter and I had surgery to remove the lump. Then the next day Mary took me to this lady and said she and her husband would be my foster parents. I didn't know what foster parents were at the time and since I hurt after the surgery and my whole life had been upset, I was even more scared if that was possible. Well, this lady took me to her house and told me not to be scared that I was going to be cared for and watched over while I healed. I just laid on the living room floor for several days. My foster mom and dad talked to me, changed my dressing, gave me pills, fed me and helped me go outside when I needed to. Most of all they petted me and loved on me.

When I felt better after a few days I decided that this foster home thing wasn't so bad. I had a Golden foster brother, Sergeant and 2 Golden foster sisters Sorsha and Sally Sue. They were very kind to me and gave me my space while I wasn't feeling well. One of my foster sisters Sally Sue was even older than me so I felt there was hope. She told me she had been adopted from GRRR when she was my age and that lots of people really appreciate an older Golden that has most of the wiggles out. I was feeling better and better. The stitches came out of my side and my hair started to grow back and I was feeling like myself again. I couldn't believe my good fortune. My coat was getting shiny from the good food. I had a Spa day when my side was healed and was feeling like a million dollars. Sally Sue was showing me the ropes. She showed me how everything worked around here. I learned the dog door and she taught me to ignore the cats. I found out that Mom and Dad have had about 12 foster dogs before me. They share their home with Goldens from GRRR who are waiting for forever homes. Some stayed for a few days and some for a few weeks. I was their longest foster since I needed lots of recuperating time.

Then after about 2 1/2 months mom and dad started to say that I was their first foster failure. What had I done wrong? I always went outside when needed and even learned the doggie door. I didn't bother the cats. I never destroyed a toy, at that point I really didn't even know what toys were or what they were for. Then mom explained to me that being a foster failure wasn't a bad thing, it meant that I would never leave. I was going to be adopted and could stay with them forever. They had fallen love with me and couldn't let me go. I have a home and I am so happy. They said that people may think they are nuts having 4 dogs but that you can never have enough Gold. The other day we went to see Mary again and did some paperwork, whatever that is, but it meant that I am not a foster dog any more. The only sad point is that Sally Sue has passed away. We all miss her a lot. Mom says that here soon we will be getting another foster dog and it will be my responsibility to show them the ropes like Sally showed me.

Mogley feel free to share my story with your readers. It is so important for GRRR to have lots of foster homes so that those of us goldens that are homeless have a place to stay until we find forever homes. A place where we are warm, fed well, have our hurts healed and most importantly of all be loved until we find our forever homes and yes even occasionally a few of us become foster failures. What could be better?

Your friend in Dogdom and a big fan
Evie

To contact GRRR rescue, try this link: http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html

Dog Olympics

Several of you have asked me if there is any chance of getting car chasing, tennis ball retrieving or Frisbee catching recognized as an Olympic sport in time for the upcoming Olympic Games in China? One of you pointed out that you had read on the internet that the Chinese really love dogs. I am not sure you understood that quite right. They love dogs, but with sweet and sour sauce.

At first I thought you were being silly. Then Bella pointed out to me that humans have horses in the Olympics. They just sit on top of the horse and let the horse do all of the work and somehow they think that is an athletic event. That is much a sport as the Frisbee toss or the game of fetch with a tennis ball. Humans sit in one place and throw the object to be returned and then wait while the dog does all the work.

There is a chance we can get an Olympic berth since humans seem to enjoy watching others work. They could replace the Discus toss with a Frisbee throw and replace the Javelin throw with a good game of tennis ball fetch. It would be a lot safer, if a Frisbee hit someone it would not hurt as much as a Discus, a tennis ball is much safer than a javelin. They already have lots of used tennis balls at the event. We could combine some of the swimming events with the Frisbee throw and have a whole new series of Retriever Games. There would be a 100 yard freestyle duck retrieve. A 50 yard cat chase. It would be a win- win for dogs and humans. It would make the Olympic Games a lot safer and it would cut down on the stress humans incur in doing physical activity themselves. Based on my observations, cutting back on the activity level demanded of a human is something they welcome. My human has tried to teach me to operate the TV remote so he does not have to set down his beer when he wants to change channels.

I will do more checking and see how we get our sports recognized for the Olympics. Would my Greyhound readers want to replace the 100 yard dash contestants? Our Border Collie readers could dispense with the human rider and make herding horses an Olympic event. Olympic medals will go to the dogs!

Mogley

Dog to dog etiquette

I want to thank all of you for the fan mail. Some dogs are kept isolated by their owners and are never socialized properly which is the reason for this posting. I want to respond to the dog, or more likely a human disguising himself as a dog, that wrote me the nice e-mail. Dogs know that they don't use dog language to communicate where humans can read it, humans must never learn how to "talk dog". I don’t like to criticize, but there was a significant error in the message. You began by saying; “Bow-wow, bow grr, gr, bow.gr.” I have to assume that you are a small dog, and that your owner has not clipped your nails recently which makes it difficult to type, or you really were saying “Hello, how are you, can I sniff your pant leg?”

Only a very small dog will ask to sniff a pant leg, hence the use of “can” rather than “may”, larger dogs sniff another part of the anatomy, and they “can” so no permission is necessary. It is not polite to ask before sniffing. Humans don’t greet each other by saying “Hello, may I shake your hand?” They just walk right up and extend their arm and hand. So should dogs, they have their way of greeting and they should show their enthusiasm to see another dog by sniffing excitedly, just run right up, turn around, stick out your nose and get acquainted.

You went on to say “bowbowwow gr arf, garf, arff.” No, I don’t know how to persuade your owner not to dress you up in those ridiculous costumes at Christmas. But I suggest that you not complain too much, there are a lot of homeless dogs at the shelter and when you have a good home, take care to keep it. Go along with the silliness, as long as there are treats at the end of the day.

I will suggest that your owner take you to the dog park daily, you need to socialize more often with other dogs. You should know that you never put two “gr or grr” in the first sentence when addressing a new dog, only one gr or grr is allowed until the sniffing is complete. If you are friends and this is the second or third time that you have sniffed, then two gr or grr’s would be allowed, but not loud ones. You can only get loud with the gr or grr’s after three meetings.

I also recommend that you work on your human language when you are at the keyboard, but always speak in dog when in the presence of a human, we can’t let humans know how much we understand or they will be assigning us chores. Look what they do to their own children as soon as they learn to speak, they make them clean their rooms, wash their hands and go to the toilet in the white water bowl in that little room. Dogs need to be as good at inter-human communication as they can to understand humans and their many moods. But never let humans know how much you understand his language, or you may find yourself sweeping up the patio.

Mogley

Goldens Win Again

The hits just keep on coming. The AKC released its listing of the most popular dogs in the country and Golden Retrievers came in 4th. Visit their site to see the actual rankings and you can click on your city to see how we fared in your particular location. http://www.akc.org/reg/dogreg_stats.cfm

Honolulu got it right. Golden Retrievers are ranked number one. I am sure the rest of the country will catch up some day. They probably need lots of balls rescued from the surf which is why Retrievers are cherished, or it could be they just have a better appreciation of beauty. I could see myself running in the surf or lounging under a palm tree with a young lady in a bikini scratching my ears or rubbing my tummy. Oops, I am infringing on my humans dreams; I could get in trouble for that.

Let us recap. The annual Eukanuba Most Beautiful Dog contest voted Golden Retrievers as number one. The AKC ranks us from number one to number four (depending on location) on the national most popular dog listing. The scientists that conducted a study of dog IQ, ranked us number four based on our ability to follow commands, but they forgot to add in our ability to communicate through our typing skills. We will be ranked number one on the IQ scale once they find out that Golden Retrievers can blog.

I want to point out a small problem. With Golden Retrievers being the most beautiful and the most popular, why don’t the humans put a mirror down where we can see it? I hope my human reads this and corrects the situation. Receiving that many accolades makes it hard to be humble. I hope they don’t have a contest to see which dog is the most vain, because in my humble opinion, Golden’s would place dead last.

Foxhounds placed last on the popularity ranking of 157 recognized AKC breeds. I wonder if we should have a telethon to raise money and raise awareness of their plight, helping to raise them up the chart? Where is Jerry Lewis when you need him?

Mogley G. Retriever

Mirror, mirror on the wall?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Eukanuba sponsored a contest to determine the most beautiful dog breed. This was in response to People Magazine and it’s Most Beautiful People issue. With over 2,000 people voting, the results are in and the winners are final. The winners of the contest are, (drum roll please), Golden Retrievers. The picture is of "Beautiful Dogs at Play". If you don’t believe that Goldens won, visit this web site to see for yourself. http://www.beautyofthebreeds.com/botbsurvey.jsp

A few blogs ago I wrote that based on a scientific study, Golden Retrievers were one of the top four smartest breeds of dogs. Now it turns out we are the best looking breed as well. Smart and handsome, what more can we ask?

As a life long Golden Retriever I knew we were the smartest. How many other dogs write blogs? Have you read a blog written daily by a Collie? How many Boxers write their life stories? How many Poodles post their activities on the Internet? I know Golden Retrievers are handsome; I get compliments every time we go for a walk. I get attention when I go in the pet food store with Bella, my step sister. People tell us how pretty we are.

Now I can prove we are the total package. Good looks and brains, plus we obey commands. What more can you ask for?

For those underprivileged humans that do not have a Golden Retriever in their home it is not too late. Operators are standing by to take your call and match you up with a deserving, homeless Golden Retriever, or other dog of your choice. And if you call in the next ten minutes, we will include a new best friend for life for no additional charge.

Visit a local rescue kennel, listen to the stories of the individual dogs and see how many very beautiful, well mannered dogs end up homeless through no fault of their own. A child develops allergies and a beloved family friend is suddenly in a chain link run at doggie jail. An elderly couple moves to a care facility and a well trained, well loved, dog is suddenly homeless. A soldier is sent to Iraq and the perfect companion is suddenly a lonely, bewildered dog, shivering in fear in a cage. All of these dogs are in doggy jail through no fault of their own, but to get out they need your help. There is no pardon, no retrial, and no second chance except through you. Someone else has potty trained him, leash trained him and taught him his manners, you only have to open your heart and your home to have the perfect companion, instantly. Adopt a homeless dog, provide a foster home for a dog in transition, and find a new best friend.

Golden Retrievers, bet you can’t love just one!

Mogley

p.s.: Try these links to find a deserving dog close to you:
http://www.grca-nrc.org/ is a listing of national rescues, there is one near you.
http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html Mogley’s favorite rescue, make a donation on line to a 501(c)3 organization, open your heart if you can't open your home.
http://www.goldenretrieverfreedom.com/ A Golden Source
There are hundreds of special breed rescues on line to help you find a new best friend.

Better Homes and Dogs

Each month Bella and I feature a different decorating tip for our doggy friends in Better Homes and Dogs. This month we feature the Golden Retriever in it’s natural habitat. As you can see, Bella and I have decorated the family room (our den) so that it offers a warm and friendly atmosphere. Christmas is over, Bella and I helped take down the decorations and we flattened them for easy storage. If you look closely you will see that Santa has lost a lot of weight. The white stuffing on the floor coordinates well with the snow outdoors, the empty toy carcasses shows that the residents are well fed and adjusted. The tug toys promote regular exercise and help to keep us in shape for those long walks on warm winter days. The dog bed beside the chair promises many ear scratches and head pats. When it comes to dog friendly decorating advice, "eat your heart out, Martha".

The result is a home that our doggy friends will feel right at home in. While any dog could enjoy the cozy decor, the addition of the duck makes it special for retrievers. We are submitting the photo to National Geographic in case they want to do a feature story on a pack of wild, ferocious Golden Retrievers and need an illustration of a typical den of Golden's in their natural habitat, the wilds of suburbia. The ability of a Golden to adapt to life in a warm heated home is truly one of the great survival stories of our natural world and a true testament to the law of the "survival of the fittest". The difference between wolves and Golden Retrievers is in the environment, you will never find a Golden spending the night in the snow or sleeping in a cave, wolves don't even eat from bowls, how barbaric!

Mogley

Dog Communication

Since my last blog post I have been thinking about the blog sites that have humans pretending to be dogs and writing fake dog-blogs. At first I could not explain why a human would pretend to be a dog, then it came to me; dogs are perfect, loved, obedient, attentive and man's best friend. Many humans are lonely, unappreciated and looking for a friend, so they pretend to be a dog on the internet hoping someone will love them. The dog impersonators are easy to recognize, they write using baby talk, they think dogs do not have command of the language. Understanding what humans say is easy; the difficulty is in understanding what they mean. Dogs have been man’s best friend for thousands of years by listening carefully and watching closely to what humans are saying. We have also learned how to ignore what humans say, which is how we have survived as mans best friend for thousands of years. Who do you think taught husbands how to ignore their wives and children how to ignore their parents?

Humans think that speech is the only way to communicate. Today a human friend stopped by to visit. I sniffed carefully as I greeted them at the door. It took over an hour for the visitor to explain that they had been to the mall where they bumped into an old friend, visited two stores and shopped for several hours.

I knew all of that after the fourth sniff when they walked in the door, I also knew they had not bought any dog treats at the store, they had given their own dog a pat on the head before they left home, their old friend has not quit smoking yet, they had pop tarts for breakfast and spilled juice on their shirt (it was frozen orange juice). Using dog communication, the whole visit could have been finished in three minutes, or five sniffs, which ever came first. Proof positive that the nose works better than the mouth for communicating.

Mogley

Wake up and smell the keyboard!

I have been reading Dog Blogs on the Internet. Did you know that most of the Dog Blogs are fake? They are written by humans! That’s right, fake dog blogs outnumber real dog blogs almost 100 to 1. I would like to see a human impersonate a dog at the local dog park, I would sniff him good, then lift my leg. Humans have no shame, impersonating a dog on the Internet! Either very few dogs have access to a keyboard at night when their owners are asleep, or we canines have become soft and lazy. Sure it is hard to type when your claws are not trimmed, but you can always run spell check and grammar check to catch most of the errors. Since dogs don’t need as much sleep as humans, there is plenty of time to write your blog and then proof read it while the humans in the house sleep. I understand some dogs don’t have much to say and don't want to blog, but most of us have plenty to bark about. Keyboards don’t smell good, but don’t turn up your nose at them; you only have to type on them. I was lucky that my human left his computer on the fireplace hearth at night so it is easy for me to write after they go to bed. You may have to "accidentally" knock the keyboard off of the table to get at it, or just climb up in the swivel chair and hope that it does not squeak when you write. Tonight when your resident human is asleep, get acquainted with your computer. If you nudge the mouse (they call that little oval thing a mouse) it will wake the computer up. Once the screen comes on, you can catch up on your reading, create your own blog account and get started telling the world the truth about dogs! Spell check is the F7 key; use it often or readers will think you are one of those fake dog blogs. We all know that dogs are too smart to let errors creep into their work, only humans use that baby talk stuff when they pretend to be dogs.

As a former homeless dog, I believe it is my obligation to reach out to dogs and help them find forever homes and to teach humans why they should take in homeless dogs. Remind your human that all dogs go to heaven, so when a human rescues a dog, someone will be in heaven to put in a good word for him. For some of the humans I have met, their dog will be the only “person” in heaven that will say anything good. If they don’t have a dog there, they are going to be very lonely if they are welcome at all. If you are one of those humans, you may want to rescue several dogs, but remember to treat them very well, they will get in the first word with the man up above. Remember to leave the keyboard where your doggy friends can reach it at night, we need more dogs writing blogs!

Mogley G. Retriever

Fetching Ducks

When I was just a tiny puppy, my mother told me that I could end up following several paths in life. I could become a spoiled big city dog, living a pampered life in an apartment, never having to work very hard, but never having much excitement either. I could become a helper dog, providing assistance to a handicapped human and traveling extensively. I could become a hunting dog, retrieving dead ducks from the middle of freezing lakes, spending time in the great outdoors with hunters, doing what I was bred to do. Or I could become a suburban dog living with a large outdoor yard, walks in the park, being pampered by my owner and maybe a squirrel or a duck to chase from time to time. I have been given the last and best path to follow. After a very upsetting time when I had no home and I was a scared lonely puppy in a chain link kennel, I was taken in by a rescue group, then placed with a foster family, and now I have been adopted and I have a Forever Home. I capitalize "Forever Home" because to a homeless dog, a Forever Home is very important. I now have a large yard on the edge of a park, lots of room to run, squirrels to chase, frequent walks in the park with my human and my Golden step sister, Bella. I get frequent trips to the dog food store where I get to pick out my own toys, we attend reunions with my fellow Golden Retrievers at the rescue kennels, and I have new experiences almost daily.

Today I was introduced to fetching Ducks. It may not seem like much to a casual observer, but "Mogley is my name, Retrieving is my game". It is only a stuffed duck but it will do for now. I have always been very interested in the ducks I see on our daily walks. The park is full of them and they come very close to the path when we walk. The human said he is using the stuffed duck to teach me how to properly retrieve objects. I have to learn to treat ducks gently. I love making the squeaky things squeak, but he says that I am not supposed to hold a duck that tightly and the squeaky thingy tells him when I bite down too hard. I don't have to go into the frozen lake to fetch them which is a big relief. For now we are just playing fetch in the back yard. The rules to the game of "Fetch the Duck" and the rules to the game of "Fetch the Ball" seem to be very similar. The difference is that the game of "Fetch the Duck" seems to be worth more treats. I am not sure why he wants dead ducks, but I am willing to play his game, as long as he shells out the treats.

Mogley

Broken Resolutions

It is already January 6th and I have not broken a single one of my resolutions but the resident human has broken several of his. My human thinks I missed several resolutions I should have made but didn't. He still yells at me for the same old things.

He thinks I should have resolved not to lick the dishes in the dishwasher. My pre-wash attachment is much more efficient and environmentally friendly than his pre-wash attachment. One of his resolutions was to be more environmentally friendly in 2008. But he yells at me for saving him energy by cleaning dishes. I also recycled the leftover food that was on the plates. Everyone knows a dog's tongue is more environmentally friendly than a dishwasher full of hot soapy water. I think he broke his resolution to be more environmentally friendly.

He took out the vacuum cleaner and destroyed the environmentally friendly home that I had created. He picked up all of the stuffing I had removed from the toys and put the remains of the toys in the toy box. I was only making the toys more useful, when I first received the toys they were overweight, they squeaked and made noise. After I finished, they were quiet, very flat and the living room looked much better with a white fluffy carpet. Then he started up the vacuum cleaner and destroyed it all. His resolution to be more tolerant of others went up in smoke, or up the vacuum cleaner as it were.

I resolved not to pull on the leash when we went for our walks. He resolved to be friendlier in the new year. When strangers passed on the walk, I greeted them by jumping up on them and showing them I loved them. He went into the "bad dog"routine again, yanking on my leash and telling me "no". He broke his resolution by not being friendly on our walk, he thinks I broke my resolution when I pulled on the leash. You be the judge.

Humans, they are so unpredictable. But after thousands of years we dogs still love them anyway. We are man's best friends, but I wish they would not test our limits so often.

Mogley

Happy New Year!

Humans make New Years Resolutions, it seems like a silly thing to do, they should be perfect like us dogs all year long. I get five or six “good dogs” per day which should make me close to being perfect already. How many "good human" praises do you think they get a day? To humor them I promised to make resolutions. I resolve to be a better dog in the coming year.

• I will not tear toys to bits only minutes after they come from the store, I will wait several hours before I destroy them.
• I will not run into the park when the front door opens.
• I will not pull on the leash just because a squirrel runs across our path.
• I will not pull on the leash just because there are good smelling things along the path.
• I will not chase the cats, when humans are watching.
• I will not uproot the house plants when I get bored.
• I will not lick plates and bowls that are left unattended.
• I will not lie down in the kitchen when someone is cooking.
• I will not leap up on visitors when I greet them at the door.
• I will not jump into the UPS truck when they deliver.
• I will not sniff on the counter when no one is looking.

Ok, I may not keep all of the resolutions, but I am sure I can keep one or two for a week or so. I bet I beat the humans, they won't keep any of them past New Years Day.

Mogley

Merry Christmas

I had two very Merry Christmas mornings. On Christmas morning we were late getting up, after all it had been a long hard night of work for a Reindog pulling Santa’s sleigh all over. When got up we found two fresh bones for our Christmas breakfast. Then we went to Jenny’s house to visit Emma, Molly and Piper, my golden cousins. With five Goldens and many relatives, it was a busy house. I counted 14 hands to pat heads and rub tummies. Bella and I each had two new rubber squeaky toys and two stuffed toys. Emma, Molly and Piper got new toys, but they don’t share as well as I do. We had fun getting in the way and stealing toys from one another.

Two days later when Brian returned home from his flights we had a second Christmas. Bella and I received new collars, they are very good looking collars, Bella’s collar is hot pink, mine is dark green. The human says that two fingers under a collar are not enough, there should be room for a whole hand, instead of fitting a tighter collar they train me to be a better dog, yea, sure. There was wrapping paper everywhere and presents scattered all over, soon the only thing left to open was an envelope, it was the very best present of all, it was an adoption certificate. Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies was going to let me stay with my foster parents, now I have a Forever Home!

I am very happy to finally know that I will stay here forever. We prepared an adoption certificate so that I could adopt them as my human family and they could adopt me as their dog. When we finished placing our hand and paw prints to the certificate there was not a dry eye in the place. To celebrate I tore the stuffing out of both of my Christmas toys, when I was done the floor looked like a snow storm had moved indoors. Now that I have a Forever Home, I will devote my life to helping other homeless dogs find foster homes on their way to finding their Forever Homes.

Mogley G. Retriever

Merry Christmas from Santa’s Reindog!

Santa uses Reindogs, not Reindeer to pull his sleigh. For hundreds of years, Reindeer have been getting the credit, and Reindogs have been doing the work. The reference in the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” to Santa and his eight tiny reindeer was an error; reindeer was easier for the writer to rhyme with than Reindogs. He knew that the eight members of Santa’s team were Reindogs, he just used poetic license. Talk about an inconvenient truth!

Who is it that pulls sleds and sleighs at the North Pole? It’s Dogs, not deer. Go look at the annual Iditarod race results and see how many teams of reindeer finished last year? There were over 50 teams with over 1,000 dogs and not a reindeer among them. How many Eskimos use reindeer to hunt walrus and seals? Just open your National Geographic magazine and see for yourself. They don’t show pictures of Eskimos hunting polar bears with reindeer. They use dogs!

Still not convinced? Santa’s last name is “Claus”, not Hoofs or Horns. They just misspelled Claws. It’s that poetic license thing again. So who has Claws? Not reindeer, but Reindogs do! Reindeer with their hooves could never keep their footing on the steep and slippery roofs that they have to land the sleigh on, but a dog’s paws with claws and pads grip the ice to keep their footing on the roof. At the end of the poem “He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,” finally the writer got it right. You don’t whistle at deer, you whistle at dogs!

“Dogs are man’s best friend”, but somehow you believe that reindeer bring your presents? That is the kind of logic that made Mr. Spock glad he was not human. Dogs are recognized as man’s best friend because we are responsible for bringing everyone their Christmas gifts, beginning at the manger, 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem when the very first Christmas presents were delivered and a dog helped guide the Wise Men, then stood watch over the gifts and the Christ child.

If you were Santa and it was your job to ‘Fetch” toys to children all over the world in one night, who would you turn to, reindeer or Reindogs? Not only are Reindogs the real heroes of Christmas, but Santa’s Reindogs are Golden Retrievers. Look at the pictures, are they golden colored? Are they long legged? Are they intelligent? Do they fetch toys to millions of boys and girls in one night? Go to any dog park and see how many reindeer bring tennis balls to little boys and girls. Golden Retrievers make children’s faces light up by fetching them toys and balls, doing every day what they do for millions of children on Christmas Eve. Proof the Reindogs are Golden Retrievers!

The Golden Retrievers of the world will be waiting for our apology from the press. We will expect the artists and movie producers to book Golden Retrievers for the publicity shots and movie rolls so that at long last Reindogs will get the credit due them.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Mogley the Golden Reindog!

To help a homeless Golden Reindog, go to http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html
Be a foster to a friend, put a homeless Golden Retriever under your tree!

Waiting for Christmas

Bella and I are excited waiting for Christmas. Our tree does not have as many ornaments on it as some other trees. I wonder where they all went? The shiny balls are sure fun to play with, and they make a nice noise when they break. I think I cut my foot on one of the broken ornaments and they had to wrap my foot up. The presents under the tree are empty boxes, they won't trust me with a real present, I unwrapped one already, it smelled good and I could not resist. The cat has unwrapped more presents than I have.

Bella and I made lists of presents we want. I made sure that Santa got an e-mail telling him that my human had called me "good dog" several times each day. If Santa wants to check up on me he can check with my human and find out that I am very well behaved, not like the dog I was when I first arrived. I used to run into the park every time I got a chance, but now I come right back home if I get out the front door. I always come when called. I always "drop" when they tell me to if I have a toy they don't want me to have. I sit on command and I am even getting good at "stay". I walk well off leash, and I don't pull when I am on leash. I even promise not to bark at Santa when he comes down the chimney. My human says I will probably sleep through the whole thing.

If I can persuade my human to bring home a homeless dog from doggie jail, we could make a lost and lonely dog happy for Christmas. Just a temporary foster for a few days would make a huge difference in another dogs life. Remember all the dogs in kennels during the Christmas season need love and a warm home.
Mogley

Dogs call humans home.

Dogs and humans still have a communications gap. Today when my human came home I was waiting for them with a picture from a magazine in my mouth. They were very upset, thinking that I had ripped up a magazine out of spite just because they left me alone.

Dogs don't destroy something out of spite, that is a human thing, dogs do it from love. We love you and you are not home. We have learned that when we do something bad, humans appear like magic out of nowhere to scold us. So when we want a human to come home, we pick something to chew on because that makes a human appear. It works most of the time, occasionally we have to chew on two items before they magically appear, but it works. By chewing on something we are not supposed to chew on, we can make our humans come home and that is what we love.

So next time you leave your puppy alone and find he has chewed on something while you were gone, remember that he was just trying to get you to come home quickly to show you he loves you. So give him a pet and a bone, show him that you love him too. After all, what is the value of a hole in an old hat or glove compared to the love of your best friend?
Mogley

Rules of the Game

Dog Soccer is played by very different rules than the humans use. The teams consist of only one dog on each team. First the Soccer ball has to be deflated, this is a simple task, and it only takes a few minutes of chewing to let the air out of it. Once it is properly deflated we can get a good grip on it. The game begins when one team tosses the ball into the play area; both teams grab the ball and pull, game on! No time outs are allowed, and no sissy referees to break up the game just when it gets going good. The winning team is the one that manages to keep the ball away from the opposing team for the longest time. The game goes on until the teams collapse on the ground and take their afternoon naps. If you are an only dog, you can try to get your human to play with you, but they never play as hard or for a long as a good dog play buddy will play. If you can take your ball to the dog park and maybe you can get a game going with someone there. Have fun playing, but be sure to follow the rules. Next week we will discuss the rules of the game of fetch and how to train your human to throw properly.
Mogley

Understand your Human

Dog/human relations can become strained at times. I want to help you understand the human in your home. Many dogs feel it is a mystery as to why humans invite us to share their homes when they are so bad about sharing everything else.

• Food: We have all seen signs of human food aggression. They store and hoard food in refrigerators, closets and cupboards. They seldom share well and they can become quite aggressive when you smell or taste their food. To help in dog/human relationships, you need to understand that humans are great at scratching ears and petting heads, but they have this strange need to hoard large amounts of food for themselves. If a dog tries to hide a bone under a sofa, or sniff in a refrigerator, you get yelled at. Very strange behavior, but as a dog you have to be willing to live with it, be supportive of their whims, no matter how strange they seem. That is what best friends are for.
  
• Water: They seem to think that only certain water is to be played in; water inside the home in sinks, showers and bathtubs is out of bounds for dogs. Outside water in ponds, lakes and streams is ok for us to play in, but not inside water. Just when we think we have this figured out, they drag us into the shower and give us a bath. Erratic behavior is another human trait that we dogs simply have to learn to tolerate. You can not predict how a human will respond, so be prepared for unusual behavior at any moment.
  
• Toys: Humans buy us toys, and then they get mad at us when the toy disintegrates under normal usage. The stuffing comes out too easily and the squeaky parts fall right out with just a small amount of chewing. If they don’t want us to play with the toy, why do they give it to us? Why don’t they buy us stronger toys? If we take matters into our own mouths and pick up a strong, long lasting toy they call it a shoe and take it away.
  
• Feeding time: It is important for all dogs to understand that humans are “time challenged”. They seldom feed us on the correct schedule. Just when you think you know the schedule, they change the clocks around and confuse themselves. They call it daylight savings time, but we end up going for a walk in the dark.
  
• Walks: Walks offer one of the great dog/human bonding opportunities. If you will take your human on regular walks you will find that dog/human relations improve greatly. Walks give us the opportunity to teach humans how to relax and let go of stress. They tell each other to “stop and smell the roses”, but when we stop to smell the roses or anything else, they get upset and pull on the leash.
  
  Humans are not perfect, but they are good at scratching ears and tummies, throwing tennis balls, giving treats and providing love, so don’t give up on them, keep working with your human and you will find a way to co-exist with them and their erratic behavior. Remember they are not dogs so you don’t expect them to be perfect.
  
  Till next time,
  Mogley

Dog IQ

According to S. Coren, author of “The Intelligence of Dogs”, the top four breeds of dog are 1) Border Collie, 2) Poodle, 3) German Shepherd and 4) Golden Retrievers. He rated 80 different breeds of dogs on a three part intelligence scale which included the speed with which different breeds learn new commands and their consistency in responding to the commands. Dobermans, Shetland Sheepdogs and Labs were the next three, in that order.

As a life-long Golden Retriever, the fix must have been in for Border Collies, Poodles and Shepherds to beat us out. The last time I read a blog that a Poodle had written it was full of misspelling and bad punctuation. They are not even smart enough to run spell check and grammar check before posting to the internet. There is a shepherd down the street and all he does is run up and down the fence barking, he thinks protecting his yard is a big deal. The Border Collie next door spends all of his time putting his toys into long straight rows and gathering the squirrels together in a herd. Neatness must have been one of the factors. Yes, the fix was in on the rating. They gave too much weight to ability to learn commands and how consistently we responded to them but not enough weight to typing skills, grammar and spelling. Doesn’t he know the importance of communication? On behalf of all of us blogging Golden Retrievers, we demand a recount! We learn commands just fine, thank you. Goldens just happen to be independent free thinkers. We want to know “why?” when we are told to go jump into freezing water to rescue a dead duck. Give us a motivation such as a dog treat, two treats if the water is really cold, then watch us move up to number one on the list. Why do ducks always die way out in the middle of a large, cold lake, how dumb is that? I never will understand why humans want dead ducks rescued anyway.

I think I will do a book on “How to train your Human”. I have trained my human to obey me, a much better approach than simply taking orders. It took me days to teach him to scratch my tummy when I roll over on my back, weeks before he figured out that he should take me for a walk when I bring him my leash. If they rated humans on the same scale, they would have placed 82, just behind ducks.

Mogley

A Forever Home for Christmas

I bragged to Piper that we were both foster dogs, but I was going to be adopted and have a forever home as my Christmas present. Piper surprised me by telling me that her foster parents were going to adopt her also. They call us “Foster Failures” when a foster family takes in a temporary foster and adopts them permanently. We talked about why we had been accepted, loved and adopted in our new homes. Here are some tips to my fellow homeless dogs to help them find forever homes.

1. Don’t let your human discover that you understand English better than he does, it makes them uncomfortable to have a woman or a dog who is smarter than they are. When I blog I always leave a mistake or two for the humans to find, it makes them fell good. You probably thought all those grammar errors were accidental!
   
2. Humans are very food aggressive and they don’t like dogs that act greedy around food. When humans drop food on the floor, remember the 30 second rule, if they don’t grab it in 30 seconds, it’s yours!
   
3. Humans can not resist a cute act, otherwise all cats would be homeless. Cats serve no purpose at all, and only cute explains why they are allowed in people’s laps. Act cute and offer humans heads to pat and ears to scratch, it works every time. I lie right beside the TV chair where they can reach down and pet my head or scratch an ear while they are watching TV. It makes them feel loved.
   
4. Learn to fetch a ball; it is a skill no human can resist. Simply bring them a ball and they are putty in your paws. Why humans have this ball obsession I don't know, but it works every time.
   
5. Bark at the door, even when there is no one there. It reminds them that you are a highly trained and skilled watch dog, without you they would be vulnerable to thieves, prowlers and wandering bears.
   
6. Your human takes you for a walk to stay in shape and lose weight, pass it on by chasing the family cat regularly, it keeps them slim and trim as well.
   
7. You need to perfect the look that Dave Barry points out to us in his quote: “You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

I hope the humans who read this will remember how cold and lonely a kennel can be when you are an abandoned dog during Christmas. Only you can be a foster parent to a lonely dog!
Mogley

Christmas is for Dogs!

If you have studied Dog History, you know that there was a dog in Bethlehem, standing guard beside the manger, protecting the Christ Child. On the hills, under the shining star, dogs were helping the shepherds by watching over the flocks that night, while wise men rode their camels down the long road to Bethlehem.

For thousands of years, dogs have been an important part of human life, helping mankind by herding flocks, protecting homes, hunting and fetching wild game, guiding the blind, but most of all, being loyal friends and trusted companions. That is why Christmas is for Dogs! It is the time of year that humans recognize the valuable contributions that dogs make to mankind. Yes, Christmas is a special time of year for humanity and for dogmanity.

When the snow gets deep on the back lawn and the cold makes it difficult to play in the sun, the humans bring in a huge tree and put it up in the living room for us to play around. As a male dog, I find the tree to be a very special gift; humans have heated toilets, now dogs do too. The lights twinkle and shine so we can see our presents under the tree, even after dark when the humans are asleep. I especially like the round shiny toys they hang on the tree. They make such a nice tinkley sound when they break. The cats play with the very low ones and they will get the blame when one is broken or missing. I have a nightly tradition of un-wrapping a Christmas present. The brightly colored, crinkly wrapping paper is so much fun on those long cold winter nights. The ribbon is fun to play with; the bows stick to the fur and add a festive touch to the house. This morning I greeted my human by bringing him a present from under the tree, I even unwrapped it for him. I can tell that Christmas is going to be lots of fun.
Mogley

Fraternising with the enemy

I have photographic proof that Bella, my ugly step sister, has been fraternizing with the enemy. It is one thing for her to conspire with the cat to take my new bed away from me, now she and the cat have formed an unholy alliance. They actually nap this way, curled up together. It is undognified! If they were taking real naps together it would be bad, but they are taking cat naps, that is unforgivable. Cats are dogs sworn enemies. Cats try to rub up against humans and purr, they curl up on laps, just brown nosing if you ask me. All of them are addicted to catnip, druggies is what they are. Where can I take a cat to put it up for adoption?

Mogley

New Bed

Most of my friends remember that when I was just a homeless dog looking for a warm place, the rescue service placed me with my foster family. I had been here four months when my human asked me to become a member of the family, he asked me if he could adopt me so I could stay forever. I said yes, of course, but I also asked for a larger bed, the old bed was too small and part of me always fell off of one side. They brought me home a nice new, soft, large bed. It is a wonderful comfortable bed. Just one problem, Bella and that pesky cat have taken it over. Bella has her own large bed, but she moved over on mine. We have upstairs beds to sleep on at night, and downstairs beds to rest on during the day, and I get pushed out both day and night. The cat is allowed on all the furniture, so it has many choices of where to lie down. But they take my bed! Life is unfair.

Mogley

Better Homes and Dogs

As you can see from the picture, Bella and I are working hard at redecorating our house. We hope to be the cover story for the December issue of Better Homes and Dogs magazine. We have created a doggie friendly play area out of what was a sterile and dull family room. We have done it in a way that most of our doggie friends can follow in redecorating their own living areas. Now that winter is here, it is important for all of our readers to have a nice warm, dry play area. Notice how we placed the bed near the chair so the human can reach down and scratch an ear or pat a head whenever we need attention. Keeping the toys close at hand instead of in those dreadful toy boxes and baskets means we can play at an instant's notice. De-stuffing toys is a favorite hobby of ours. We can de-stuff a toy faster than the humans can take the sales tags off of it. The toy stuffing scattered on the floor makes a house into a home, don't you think? It adds that doggie cache' that is so important for a well balance and comfortable home. Humans think we hate vacuum cleaners because of the noise, they don't understand we hate vacuum cleaners because they ruin the decor that we have worked so hard to create. So until next month's issue, keep those bones and toys on the floor!
Mogley

Playing with Bella

One of my favorite games is getting the best of my ugly step sister, Bella. Yesterday the humans gave us each a rawhide bone. Bella chewed hers up quickly. I played with mine, throwing it in the air, chasing it and running like a mad dog around the back yard. Bella darted in and stole mine while I was stalking it. She took it straight under the human’s feet where she could chew on it, knowing I don’t dare start a fight under their feet. I waited until the human got up, then I pulled a leash across the floor. Bella saw the leash and the human on his feet and decided it was time for a walk; she dropped the bone and dashed for the front door with the leash in her mouth. I got the bone.

Today the humans gave us each a steak bone. It was good; I chewed on mine for a long time. Then we had company. Bella had to go lean on the guests, leaving her bone behind. I took both of the bones outside and hid them, then I went to get my share of attention from the visitors. Bella looked and looked for her bone and she could not find it. I was doing fine until I decided to bring one of my bones inside and chew it beside the bed after lights out time. The humans get grumpy when you make noise in the middle of the night; they took my bone away and hide it. Boy are they touchy. Mel Brooks was right, it is good to be the dog.
Mogley

Balanced Meals

I have become more health conscious lately. I believe in excercising regularly and eating well balance meals. This morning I went out in the orchard and found an apple to eat after my breakfast of dog food. Tonight I started my meal off with a nice green salad with blue cheese dressing. It was the first salad I had ever eaten; it was the best salad I had ever eaten too. I followed that with a nice bowl of dog food. After serving me the dog food my humans went looking for their salad. You would not believe the whole “bad dog” routine they went through, shaking their fingers at me and everything. I thought there was something in the law about abandoned property and salvage rights. They abandoned the salad when they went to get my dog food. I did not get up on the table or do any of the bad things, I know better than to do that. The bowl of salad was left on the coffee table in front of the couch, right where I normally lay under their feet when they eat dinner in front of the TV. They sure are emotional people; they get upset over the slightest things. They are right about one thing though, blue cheese is good stuff!
Mogley

Food Aggression

If dogs are considered “food aggressive” they are not considered good pets. I learned that by watching the animal planet channel on TV. Then why are humans tolerated when they are extremely food aggressive? I just wanted to sniff the plate that was sitting beside the outdoor fire thing. I was not going to try and grab a steak off of the grill. Boy did they growl and yell at me. When I tried to put my nose up by the table where the good smells were coming from the big pot, they yelled like mad. The bowl of ice cream was just sitting there, the human was not even eating it, and it was melting. He was more interested in talking on that phone thing they hold up to their ear. He yelled and grabbed he bowl away from me, shook his finger at me and went through that whole “bad dog” routine. They have extreme food aggression; they growl and snarl if you even look at their food. If a dog protected his food like humans do we would be banned from the house. In dogs it’s usually the skinny dog that is most aggressive around food as he has not had as much to eat. But with humans, the big ones and the small ones all exhibit the same aggression when it comes to protecting their food. Humans, you can’t understand them and they won’t let us lick them.

Mogley

Friends Visit

I have not been able to write because I had too much help. Wednesday night Emma, Molly and Piper arrived to spend a week. It is so exciting when I have four extra friends to play with. Molly and Piper are still young dogs and hey have a lot of energy to play with me. While Jenny and Brian are away, the dogs will play. The first few minutes are pretty exciting, we all jump and romp wildly. Then we settle down and just run or an hour or so. Five Golden Retrievers in one house and one yard, it has been a wild week.

My human has only two hands. Lets see, five dogs divided by two hands means that we won't get petted as often, we won't get walked as often, we won't get hugs as often, and we will not get a lap to sleep on by ourselves. In return we get a chance to play until we drop.

Feeding time was a busy time, Emma, Molly and Piper all are very eager eaters. They gobble their food as fast as they can in hopes that they can eat some from another bowl. Bella and I are used to eating slowly, sometimes not finishing our meals till later in the day. We got fed separately so the other three would not steal part of our food. Feeding five dogs at the same time was an exciting task for one human, the three visitors were jumping around and trying to help. Somehow it all worked out.

The human expected trouble from Piper because she has a reputation for being rowdy and out of control. After chasing squirrels all day, running in the back yard with the rest of us, chasing thrown balls and running cats, she was a sweetheart inside the house. She was so tired she could not get into any trouble. Piper had never seen a cat before and for the first couple of days she wanted to chase them, even when they did not want to play. By the time she went home, Piper had learned how to respect cats and she is now certified "cat friendly".

Today Buckley came by for a visit, so for a few hours we had six Golden Retrievers to play with. We ran and chased balls, we chased each other and we chased squirrels. How much fun can six dogs have? A lot. When it was time for the visitors to go home, we all went along. All six of us rode out to Jenny's house and romped in her backyard for a while before Bella, Buckley and I came home. A short time later Buckley went home and the house was quiet. The cats came out of hiding, found a place in the sun and took afternoon naps. It was a fun but tiring week.
It is time for my nap.
Mogley

Five Hoursemen?

My human said there must be five horsemen of the Apocalypse. The Bible speaks to four of them, War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. He thinks they miscounted originally because there should have been one more of them, the fifth one should have been named Mogley! He says Mogley brings fleas, leaves, tree limbs, old tin cans and broken glass into the living room. He rearranges my closet. He digs holes in the back yard. He shreds toys, breaks tree limbs into tiny bits, scatterer's trash across the yard.

I think he is exaggerating to try and make me look bad. I don't do many bad things. I bring him his shoes, even when he does not want them. Sometimes I try and fetch his shoes when he is wearing them. I am careful to check the inside of all my toys for possible concealed bombs. I take out the stuffing to see if any contraband is hidden inside. Then I play with the squeaker until it finally stops making noise. My human should appreciate the way I convert noisy toys into nice quiet ones. I try and keep the cats from getting too fat by giving them regular exercise. If there is trash in the house, I take it outside, if there is trash outside, I take it inside. I greet people at the door and make them feel welcome. I let him know when the mail man comes by. I tell him when there are people in the park, walking outside of our fence.

I just don't understand what he is complaining about. I think he just has an insecurity. Maybe someday dogs will be able to understand human minds, in the meantime we just lick them and reassure them that we are still their best friends.

Mogley