Five Minute Toys!

The store was having a sale on close-out Christmas toys in the dog department. When the bag with the toys came in the door I grabbed one toy out of the bag before the human could even set it down. Thinking it would keep me busy while he brought the rest of the purchases in, he left me alone with it. First Bella and I had a couple of quick sets of tug-o-war. The tug-o-war opened up several seams, it took me less than one minute to pull the stuffing out and find the squeaker to remove. I met my human at the door, he had the last bag of groceries in his hand, and I had the remains of the toy in my mouth.

My human called the store; they said there was no extended warranty available on the dog toys. The store manager said the store guarantee was only a five minute warranty on the toys, my human explained that the toy had not lasted five minutes from the time he got it home, the store replied that the five minutes covered by the warranty began from the time the toy was rung up on the register. Apparently the store manager has seen golden retrievers at work.

They just don’t make toys like they used to.

Mogley G. Retriever

Spa Day

Mud baths are good for your health. Don’t take my word for it; look at what one health spa advertisement claims: "Have you ever wondered why some people enjoy taking a mud bath? The reason is simple; it is an incredibly relaxing experience. It’s a warm soothing experience that allows a person to let the tension out by doing nothing more than enjoying the warmth melt away the stress. "

A health spa will charge thousands of dollars to do what a golden retriever can do with just a little water and some dirt. Take a look at the pictures showing how we golden’s like to spend our day at the spa. First (top photo) Bella and I went in for a good mud pack. Then three new friends joined us, Hogan, Holly and Bobbi Woodworth. We had to go find a bigger mud hole (middle photo) to accommodate a pack of five wild and ferocious retrievers. We found another mud bath nearby and applied a second layer of soothing mud. Notice the picture of Bobbi shaking herself (last photo). You can tell it's Bobbi because she has no tail to shake. It may be hard to believe, but there is a golden retriever under all of that mud!

Mud is good for your coats, it makes them nice and black, cools us off, and gives us that special scent that tells others “these dogs are special; they have been to the spa!” My human should be happy; we do not smell like dogs anymore. Humans always complain when we smell like dogs, what do they expect us to smell like? Skunks? We don’t even smell like wet dogs. We smell like mud. Gooey, messy, black, sticky, mud!

Then our dream of beautful mud baths is ruined, we are toweled off before we are allowed into the car. When we get home we have to go straight to the shower room where we are hosed down, soaped up and we end up smelling like lilacs and lavender. We smell like sissy dogs again.

But for a few minutes it was heavenly. Don’t tell the human, but we remember where that mud was and we will find it again! We could hold a Golden Retriever Club reunion at the mud hole, call it a Golden Spa Day!

Mogley G. Retriever

Remember the good things in life?

As I get older, I find myself looking back and remembering the good things in life. After all, I am a year old now, that is 8 or 9 in human years, time really flies when you are a dog! Humans don’t appreciate the simple joys of life. Here are some of the things I appreciate.

Riding with your head out the window, ears flapping in the breeze is one of the joys that humans seldom appreciate. Thankfully, they would probably run into something if they drove that way. Fresh scents to smell, air to ruffle the fur. Now that is living! But the close up picture makes my nose look big!

Stopping to sniff a fire hydrant used to be one of life’s great pleasures. Remember the good old days when they had fire plugs on most corners? They were a wonderful way to help us keep in touch with one another and reconnect with old friends. The internet works fine, and I am proud that dogs invented it, but it will never replace a neighborhood fire plug or even a large elm tree. You did know that dogs invented the internet, didn’t you? Surely you don’t believe that Al Gore invented it? How silly was that, anyway?

Old squirrels. All we have in our yard are young squirrels. They are so hard to catch, they run fast and although we chase them constantly, we never can catch them. Old squirrels are the best squirrels.

Thanks for stopping by to read my blog.
Mogley G. Retriever

If I ran the Dog Show!

A beagle won the 132nd Westminster championship, beating out 2,500 other dogs to be declared best in show. I don’t want to minimize the achievement of someone that can look good under a bright spot light and perform under pressure, but did they forget that there were Golden Retrievers entered?

If I ran the dog show, points would be awarded differently. Dogs need to do something besides just look good, which we do of course, but we need to demonstrate our ability to do our jobs while looking good as well. Do they judge Miss America only on the swim suit contest? NO! They have talent contests, they have judges that observe them under pressure to see how they respond, and they look for a well rounded individual.

Let’s add some talent and skills tests to the dog show judging. The first round of judging would have a tennis ball machine launching tennis balls across the auditorium and into the crowd, dogs will be judged on the number of balls they bring back in the ten minute judging window. This is where we will separate the beagles from the terriers. Goldens' would be at a disadvantage, we would stop to get head pats or lick all the hands along the way, we need points for "congeniality". Another round of judging could be squirrel chasing. Release squirrels in the hall, release 2,500 dogs and let the games begin. This would provide active competition among the dogs; it would provide entertainment for the spectators and would increase television ratings by 20 points. The televised dog show would out draw the Super Bowl for viewers. For the final round of judging we would uncover a large swimming pool and release three live ducks in the exhibit hall. The first dog that brings a duck to the judge would be the winner of that round. Let’s see how many points the poodle in the bushy hairdo could win now.

Now that is how I would run a dog show!

Mogley G. Retriever

It's my Job!

Some people do not understand the role of a dog in the typical household. We appreciate the warm home, good food, exercise, attention and praise that we receive. In return we more than pay for our keep by providing valuable services.

• It is my job to guard the back fence. Don’t yell at me to stop barking when someone is walking down the trail in the park. They are walking quietly with their dog, plotting how to jump over the fence and invade our back yard if I appear to be asleep.


• It is my job to fetch balls. If there are no balls being thrown, then I can not perform my job. So hurry up, get out of that chair, turn off the TV, get outside and work that arm. No tennis balls? Sticks and Frisbees work as well. Throw a duck from time to time just to break the pattern.


• It is my job to take you for walks and to keep you physically fit. Excercise is good for the man and his dog, just ask your Doctor!.


• It is my job to chase the cats. So don’t yell at me to stop. The cats are getting fat and lazy, exercise is good for them. If they are running, then they are not shedding on the couch, or even worse, lying on your lap, digging their claws into you as they purr. If you spoke cat, you would be horrified at the nasty comments they make about humans. I only chase them when they have been insulting you.


• It is my job to clean up stray food on the floor. If there is no stray food on the floor then I can’t do my job. That is why I sprawl across the kitchen floor where you can trip over me, spilling your plate. It’s my job.


• It is my job to greet guests at the front door. You should encourage me to bark at everyone entering the front yard until it has been determined whether they are visitors and guests or intruders. Jumping on guests as they enter the house is only good courtesy; you would not want people to think we were not excited to see them? Sniffing is how we separate wanted guests from intruders bent on harm.


• It is my job to hang out of the car window, ears flapping in the breeze, keeping watch for threatening cars and approaching fire trucks. I stand watch over the car when it is parked in a lot, challenging any potential intruder who comes close. Forget buying the “club” or “lo-jack” for your car, just leave the window down while you shop and don’t forget to return with a treat.


• It is my job to be a companion and best friend. Jumping up on you is my way of helping you relax after a hard day. Licking you is my way of offering my sympathy and showing my understanding of your troubles. Offering you my head, ears and tummy to scratch is therapy; it saves you a trip to the psychiatrist’s office, not to mention saving you the bill. You could spend some small part of the savings on dog treats and dog toys.


• It is my job to protect the house, the family, and yes, even the cats, from possible intruders. That is why we are frequently awake in the middle of the night, keeping watch, guarding the home.

That is why we have been with you for the last 8,000 years, man and dog, what a team! Thanks for the home and love, your best friend;

Mogley G. Retriever

If dogs were in charge:

Sniffing would replace hand shaking when dogs and people greet one another. Handshaking is so unsanitary, you never know where that hand has been!

Dog food would be delivered in big trucks instead of little bags. Trucks would just back up and deliver a huge supply, and it would be good stuff, the dog food would all be marked “USDA Choice” and would all have a fresh bone in them.

Balls would throw themselves so we don’t have to wait till the human gets around to throwing the ball after we fetch it.

The refrigerator’s ice dispenser would dispense bones and treats instead of ice.

The collar on the leash would go around the human’s neck and we hold the loop end in our mouth so that when we want to follow that rabbit trail the human comes alone with us. Squirrels can be chased and the human has to keep up or we give them a good yank on the leash.

Toys would put themselves back together every night so we can tear them apart again during the day.

Squirrels would all have a limp to slow them down.

No one would be allowed to come near my back fence unless he has a pocket full of treats.

Cats would be required to stay off of furniture, dogs would be allowed on the furniture. Humans would be allowed on the furniture if they have been "good humans" all day.

Cats would be treated for their drug habit; catnip addiction would be recognized as a threat to household harmony.

All cars would be required to have one window that opens to dog nose height so that we can ride comfortably with our nose out the door, ears in the wind.

All humans would be required to adopt a dog so no dog has to be in the doggy jail.

Dog catchers would catch humans who are caught walking the streets without their dog, they would be locked up until their dog bails them out and they agree to walk their dog every day.

Daily tummy rubs and ear scratches would be required or else the human would have to sleep on the floor beside the bed instead of being allowed to share the bed with the dog.

A Man is Dogs best friend!

Paws up for Dog Power:
Mogley G. Retriever

Ferocious Golden Retrievers

Brian came by with Emma, Molly and Piper, my three Golden cousins, all five of us went down to the park for a run in the big open area. Boy is that a lot of fun, we ran and ran and ran. Emma, Molly and Piper have not been in the big park very often so they had to drag their leashes just in case. Everyone was on their good behavior. We sniffed in the bushes and in the long grass. The wind was blowing hard and it was only 38 degrees, just right for some serious running by a pack of ferocious Golden Retrievers, loose in the park. Bella is in front, hoping the photographer has a treat.

My human says there are no grizzly bears or moose in the park, he told us to watch out for coyotes and deer. There are some ducks and geese in the marshes, a few doves, rabbits, and pheasants in the tall grass. It was great sniffing.

When my human was looking the other way for a moment, I took Piper down and showed her where the marsh was, we went for a wade in the muddy water. We had fun, but the humans spoiled it by yelling at us to get out of the mud. They don’t let us have any fun.

Before they took us home they wiped us down with a towel to get some of the mud off. When I got home I ended up with a bath again. This is getting monotonous. I work hard to make myself smell good, they give me a bath with that smelly stuff and make me smell like a sissy again. I tried to tell my human that it will be hard for me to scare off a coyote when I smell like chocolate candy or a lilac bush. I will growl at the coyote, go into my “threat posture”, he will take one sniff and roll on his back in laughter. How embarrassing!

Mogley G. Retriever

More Dog/Human dictionary:

Dogs and humans seem to have different meanings for many words. Here are a few of the frequently misunderstood words and their proper usage for dogs.

Treatable: Human definition, something that can be treated or cured.
Dog definition; Something worthy of reward. Example of usage; I just brought you the ball, that is a treatable trick. Where is my treat you cheapskate?

Doggedly: Human definition; Something you done stubbornly or tenaciously.
Dog definition; Something that is best done by a dog. Example, I did an extraordinary good job of fetching that duck, it was a doggedly good job.

Minute: Human definition; A unit of time equal to one sixtieth of an hour, or 60 seconds
Dog definition: One to two hours, maybe a day if we are waiting in the car, remember guys, one human year is seven to ten dog years. Why do you think we get impatient when you make us wait? Get a move on there fellow, we don’t have forever!

Food: Human definition; Edible material that has been properly prepared and seasoned to provide nourishment to the body. Eaten slowly and with pleasure.
Dog definition; Something chewable that can also be swallowed in large bits so as to minimise the time wasted in chewing.

Cat: Human definition; a small animal of the feline family that is kept in the house as a pet. Something to be pampered and cared for with love and affection.
Dog definition; A small but usable exercise machine, suitable for low to moderate exercise only.

That is all for today, it is time to go to the park!
Mogley G. Retriever

Evie's E-mail

My friend Evie has sent me another e-mail, keeping us up to date on her life after having been abandoned, then finding a wonderful new home. Thanks to wonderful people that take us in when we need a home.

Dear Mogley,

I finally was able to get into the computer room today. Around here there are two computers and they have a special room for them. My people always shut the door when they leave the room so I don't get much opportunity to keep up on my email. My people say they have to keep the door closed because of cats on the keyboards. They don't have a clue that we dogs are on those keyboards every chance we get. We must be smarter because we dogs never get caught at it and the cats do. You can teach an old dog new tricks! I didn't know a thing about computers when I came here but I am a fast learner.

We have those pesky cats here too. There must be some sort of kitty conspiracy going on. They have found their way into the best homes. Maybe it is the people. The people that will take us in when we need a good meal and a warm bed must have very soft hearts and those cats take advantage. We have 2 cats here in this house. There is one kitty that is really old. Don't tell her I said so but she is 19. She sleeps a lot and doesn't bother us dogs but she will be the first to tell you she is the Queen of the house and don’t mess with her. Something about seniority, whatever that is. Then there is this other black and white kitty . She is something else. After I was here for about a month I found out she is studying to be a masseuse! I have never heard of such a thing. If I lay down real quiet she will come over and massage my muscles. My mom thinks it is so cute and says she is making biscuits. I never see any biscuits when she is done but my muscles do feel better.

Your Friend Evie

I write this blog!

I overheard someone ask my human if he wrote my blog for me, apparently they doubted my writing skills which made me very angry and insulted, until he replied.

“No, Mogley writes his own blog, every day, in every way, and in everything he does” he replied.

My name is Mogley, and I write this blog when I fetch my leash to beg for a walk in the park or when I ride in the car, my head out of the window, ears flapping in the breeze. I write this blog when my human is engrossed in a TV program and I have to fill up his chair with toys and balls before he notices me and agrees to play. I write this blog when I run around the house with my favorite squeaky toy, squeaking like a banshee, telling the world what a joy it is to be a dog, filled with life and energy. I write this blog when I come running into the house covered with snow and rub up against my human so he will pet me, his hand recoils when he reaches out and finds I am covered in cold. I write this blog when I help trim trees by bringing a large branch into the house, having pulled it from the orchard, across the lawn and through two dog doors. I write this blog when I get a new toy, Bella and I each want it so a game of tug-o-war breaks out, we each end up with ½ the toy and the floor is littered with stuffing. I write this blog when Bella and I fight and wrestle, knocking each other to the floor, making more noise than a pack of grizzly bears attacking a moose, and when we greet friends at the door, with wiggles, wags, licks and yaps of happiness, showing our unbridled joy at being the first to welcome a guest. I write this blog when I pick up Mini Cat and carry her around in my mouth, humans are shocked and tell me to put her down but Mini Cat does not even mind. I write this blog when I burst through the dog door at full speed to catch a squirrel in the back yard just as the cat is trying to come in the dog door and the cat goes flying. I write this blog when we both lay on our backs beside the chair waiting patiently for the human to notice that Bella and I need a tummy rub. I write this blog when the delivery person visits, I jump up into the UPS truck and refuse to come out. I write this blog when my happy tail knocks everything off the coffee table onto the floor, my tail keeping time to the happy music on the radio. I write this blog in the middle of the night when I am sitting beside the bed, my head stretched out across the bed to assure the humans that I am keeping watch while they sleep, and all is well!

There are humans that keep their dog in a run in the back yard, never making it a part of the family, they will still doubt that dogs can blog; to them a dog is something to feed and clean up after. For those of you that share your homes, hearts and lives with a dog, you know the intelligence of a dog and you will know the truth. You will know that a Golden Retriever can provide more than just the material for a blog, they can write the blog itself;

My name is Mogley, and I write this blog!
Mogley G. Retriever

Forever Home!

Saturday was a very special day. The humans’ daughter and son in law came by with Piper, their foster golden. They loaded me up and we went for a ride, leaving Bella at home which is highly unusual. First we stopped by a veterinarian’s office to pick up a prescription for Piper, she has something called Addisons disease. Then we drove on to the Sage Valley Pet Center, the home of Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies, GRRR. I said hello to Mary, then I met many new rescue friends. Several people were visiting GRRR to meet some homeless goldens that need a new home. Mary said there are currently 13 homeless goldens at her home and 5 more in the kennels plus a large number in foster homes where they are evaluated and in some cases taught their manners or recover from health problems. Piper and I got to meet several people that were there to meet available dogs and see if they bond. One lucky dog went home with a very nice human; it took a long time for her to select which lucky golden got to go to a forever home. Mary says that it takes time to make sure the human/dog match is a good match and that a new home will be a forever home. Mary has many years of experience in evaluating humans and finding the ideal dog for them. My humans wanted to take all of the needy dogs home; they all are so friendly, so beautiful and so lonely.

We went into the building where Mary showed my humans how to treat my ear infection, my humans were treating it but they were too careful and were not cleaning my ear out well enough. I got some water in my ear when they gave me my bath last week; they need to be more careful and dry my ear.

Then came the very best part, we filled out paper work making me an official “forever dog”. I am no longer a foster dog living at a foster home; I am a part of the family, forever. Piper filled out her forever papers, it was very exciting for both of us. We are officially adopted, forever.

They made four donations to GRRR, two in the name of a relative that was getting married. The relative had asked that instead of gifts, donations be made to a pet shelter or charity. A gift was made in their name to the Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies, my alma mater, and a gift was made to recognise Piper and me as adopted, forever dogs.

It was heartbreaking to leave behind six beautiful golden retrievers standing by the door waiting for the next human to come meet them in hopes they can coax their way into a forever home. They try to behave, they act as nice as they can, they play, wag, wiggle and lick the humans, but only one can go home each time. There are always more dogs coming in after being abandoned than there are humans coming in to adopt. Visit your local rescue to meet the best dogs in the world.

So many dogs, so few homes!
Mogley

Rules

I waited a full two minutes. That is what the rule is; the human has two minutes to retrieve his lost food, then it is finders-keepers! I have seen the rule repeated on TV time after time. He says the rule does not count when the food is left on the counter. I think he should have established the rules more clearly to begin with, and then I would not have gotten in trouble. I hate it when he does that whole “bad dog” routine. This time he did it loudly, shaking his finger and he carried on and on. Boring! It was just a hamburger bun, no hamburger, no mustard, no catsup, just a plain bun. He left it on the edge of the counter and then wandered out to do something to the backyard barbeque. He banished me to the backyard until lunch time was over. He gets three meals a day, I only get two. A little snack in between would not have been too much to ask. Humans are so food aggressive. They always get mad when you threaten their food.

As a well trained, obedient house dog, I try and live by the rules. The rules don’t make any sense most of the time. Dogs are only allowed on the couch in the plant room where the sun is so nice and warm in the morning, all the rest of the furniture is off limits to dogs. The cats get on all of the furniture but when I chase them off, I get yelled at. Cat toys litter the floor but when I play with one it gets taken away. The cats play with my dog toys and the human thinks it is cute. I am not supposed to eat food in the garden in the summer, but they leave the tomato vines at dog nose height. I am not supposed to pull on the leash but squirrels dart across the path and threaten us when we walk. I am supposed to be a guard dog but I can’t chase a squirrel when I am on a leash? I am not supposed to run away when we are in the open fields. He takes us out there to get exercise and gets upset when we run too far. I am not supposed to sample treats on the low shelves at the dog food store, but he takes us there to pick out our toys, how can I tell what I want if I can’t sample? I am not supposed to jump up on visitors, but I am supposed to make them feel welcome, how do you do one without the other?

Humans are sure hard to understand.

Mogley G. Retriever

Goldens on Patrol!

The picture was taken as I make my regular rounds patrolling the back yard. I would have posted a better picture but my human won’t let me use the camera. They did not want me using the computer until they learned how carefully I type. They don’t want me to use the camera at all, I did try to use it when no one was looking, it is hard to hold the camera and push the button at the same time.

Humans must be very insecure because they expect me to patrol regularly. What can they be afraid of? I don’t know why humans expect me to run around the back yard and look for intruders, there is never anything worth chasing. Bella takes care of the squirrels, she tries to climb trees to catch them, but I have news for her, she can’t climb high enough to even worry them. Squirrels pose a very low risk to humans anyway, but they are fun to torment. The back yard opens onto a park with several paths, so I have lots of people to bark at, barking lets the human know I am on duty. I sleep beside the bed at night to keep them secure, even though their snoring keeps me awake. What can they be afraid of? It must be cats. They must be afraid that a cat will attack them in the middle of the night. Cats are sneaky and devious. I would not put it past them. Humans think cats purr, it is really a very low growl. The cats are quietly threatening people while sitting on peoples laps, they are evil. That is why I chase them when ever I get the chance, and no humans are watching!

Sleep tight tonight, your Golden Retriever is on guard!

Mogley G. Retriever

Water Dogs are Muddy Dogs!

Humans can be so dumb at times. We are water dogs. Hello! That means we like the water. Today our human took Bella and I down to the dog area at Cherry Creek Park. Several square miles with swamps, prairie, woods, and lots of other dogs, all running off leash. He said he wanted to work with us on our hand signs and voice commands. We had fun running back and forth, smelling the deer tracks, the raccoon tracks and lots of dog trails. We ran and ran; we were good and hot even though it was a chilly winter day. Then we went to work, following commands just like the good dogs we are. Another Golden Retriever came out of the brush and the swamp, soaking wet and covered in mud. While our humans talked, Bella and I found the swamp. The human told us to stay dry, he called us back, but water calls more loudly than a human does. Bella and I just wanted to cool off, so we jumped into the swamp and had a swim. When he called us back we had to ignore him for several minutes or else we would have had no fun at all. What good is it to get in the water, get wet and muddy, then not be allowed to splash, play and enjoy it? He gave us the “bad dog” routine, lecturing us about running instead of responding when he called us back from the edge of the swamp. I would have grabbed a duck while I was in the swamp, that would have earned me a treat instead of a bath but his yelling scared all the ducks away.

This was our third trip to the park in two days. Yesterday when we went into the swamp our human got all upset, he called us back, then when we came running he told us to stay away from him. He is difficult to understand. We only wanted to share the nice mud with him; we had lots of it on us to share. He looks good with doggy paw prints all over him. He took us home and gave us a bath.

Two baths in two days is probably a new record. We smelled wonderful when we came out of the swamp. He gave us a bath with scented shampoo and we ended up smelling like sissy dogs. The perfume alone would have been enough reason for us to jump into the mud. I hope we wants to work on voice commands again, the park is sure fun!

Mogley

A Golden Story!

Today I am re-posting a wonderful e-mail I received from Evie. Evie’s story is proof that “You can teach an old dog new tricks, you can even teach them to blog”. The perfect dog is not one you buy from a breeder or a pet store, the perfect dog is one that has already been trained by his owners, and now is homeless. A homeless dog that finds the love of a new family offers greater love than you will ever know, they appreciate you and all that you do for them. Read Evie’s story, then call your local rescue and find room in your heart and in your home for the best friend you will ever have!

Dear Mogley,

Hi, I am Evie and would like to share my story with you.

I am an 8 year old Golden Retriever and through no fault of my own I found myself homeless at the end of last summer. Something about my people moving and they couldn't take me with them. I have to tell you I was scared out of my mind. I am not a cute little puppy or even a young dog in my prime. I am a senior, a little heavy and I had this big tumor on my side. Who would ever want me? Well, I have to tell you I lucked out. My owner did a good thing and turned me over to Mary at GRRR.

Mary took me to Dr. Carpenter and I had surgery to remove the lump. Then the next day Mary took me to this lady and said she and her husband would be my foster parents. I didn't know what foster parents were at the time and since I hurt after the surgery and my whole life had been upset, I was even more scared if that was possible. Well, this lady took me to her house and told me not to be scared that I was going to be cared for and watched over while I healed. I just laid on the living room floor for several days. My foster mom and dad talked to me, changed my dressing, gave me pills, fed me and helped me go outside when I needed to. Most of all they petted me and loved on me.

When I felt better after a few days I decided that this foster home thing wasn't so bad. I had a Golden foster brother, Sergeant and 2 Golden foster sisters Sorsha and Sally Sue. They were very kind to me and gave me my space while I wasn't feeling well. One of my foster sisters Sally Sue was even older than me so I felt there was hope. She told me she had been adopted from GRRR when she was my age and that lots of people really appreciate an older Golden that has most of the wiggles out. I was feeling better and better. The stitches came out of my side and my hair started to grow back and I was feeling like myself again. I couldn't believe my good fortune. My coat was getting shiny from the good food. I had a Spa day when my side was healed and was feeling like a million dollars. Sally Sue was showing me the ropes. She showed me how everything worked around here. I learned the dog door and she taught me to ignore the cats. I found out that Mom and Dad have had about 12 foster dogs before me. They share their home with Goldens from GRRR who are waiting for forever homes. Some stayed for a few days and some for a few weeks. I was their longest foster since I needed lots of recuperating time.

Then after about 2 1/2 months mom and dad started to say that I was their first foster failure. What had I done wrong? I always went outside when needed and even learned the doggie door. I didn't bother the cats. I never destroyed a toy, at that point I really didn't even know what toys were or what they were for. Then mom explained to me that being a foster failure wasn't a bad thing, it meant that I would never leave. I was going to be adopted and could stay with them forever. They had fallen love with me and couldn't let me go. I have a home and I am so happy. They said that people may think they are nuts having 4 dogs but that you can never have enough Gold. The other day we went to see Mary again and did some paperwork, whatever that is, but it meant that I am not a foster dog any more. The only sad point is that Sally Sue has passed away. We all miss her a lot. Mom says that here soon we will be getting another foster dog and it will be my responsibility to show them the ropes like Sally showed me.

Mogley feel free to share my story with your readers. It is so important for GRRR to have lots of foster homes so that those of us goldens that are homeless have a place to stay until we find forever homes. A place where we are warm, fed well, have our hurts healed and most importantly of all be loved until we find our forever homes and yes even occasionally a few of us become foster failures. What could be better?

Your friend in Dogdom and a big fan
Evie

To contact GRRR rescue, try this link: http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html

Dog Olympics

Several of you have asked me if there is any chance of getting car chasing, tennis ball retrieving or Frisbee catching recognized as an Olympic sport in time for the upcoming Olympic Games in China? One of you pointed out that you had read on the internet that the Chinese really love dogs. I am not sure you understood that quite right. They love dogs, but with sweet and sour sauce.

At first I thought you were being silly. Then Bella pointed out to me that humans have horses in the Olympics. They just sit on top of the horse and let the horse do all of the work and somehow they think that is an athletic event. That is much a sport as the Frisbee toss or the game of fetch with a tennis ball. Humans sit in one place and throw the object to be returned and then wait while the dog does all the work.

There is a chance we can get an Olympic berth since humans seem to enjoy watching others work. They could replace the Discus toss with a Frisbee throw and replace the Javelin throw with a good game of tennis ball fetch. It would be a lot safer, if a Frisbee hit someone it would not hurt as much as a Discus, a tennis ball is much safer than a javelin. They already have lots of used tennis balls at the event. We could combine some of the swimming events with the Frisbee throw and have a whole new series of Retriever Games. There would be a 100 yard freestyle duck retrieve. A 50 yard cat chase. It would be a win- win for dogs and humans. It would make the Olympic Games a lot safer and it would cut down on the stress humans incur in doing physical activity themselves. Based on my observations, cutting back on the activity level demanded of a human is something they welcome. My human has tried to teach me to operate the TV remote so he does not have to set down his beer when he wants to change channels.

I will do more checking and see how we get our sports recognized for the Olympics. Would my Greyhound readers want to replace the 100 yard dash contestants? Our Border Collie readers could dispense with the human rider and make herding horses an Olympic event. Olympic medals will go to the dogs!

Mogley

Dog to dog etiquette

I want to thank all of you for the fan mail. Some dogs are kept isolated by their owners and are never socialized properly which is the reason for this posting. I want to respond to the dog, or more likely a human disguising himself as a dog, that wrote me the nice e-mail. Dogs know that they don't use dog language to communicate where humans can read it, humans must never learn how to "talk dog". I don’t like to criticize, but there was a significant error in the message. You began by saying; “Bow-wow, bow grr, gr, bow.gr.” I have to assume that you are a small dog, and that your owner has not clipped your nails recently which makes it difficult to type, or you really were saying “Hello, how are you, can I sniff your pant leg?”

Only a very small dog will ask to sniff a pant leg, hence the use of “can” rather than “may”, larger dogs sniff another part of the anatomy, and they “can” so no permission is necessary. It is not polite to ask before sniffing. Humans don’t greet each other by saying “Hello, may I shake your hand?” They just walk right up and extend their arm and hand. So should dogs, they have their way of greeting and they should show their enthusiasm to see another dog by sniffing excitedly, just run right up, turn around, stick out your nose and get acquainted.

You went on to say “bowbowwow gr arf, garf, arff.” No, I don’t know how to persuade your owner not to dress you up in those ridiculous costumes at Christmas. But I suggest that you not complain too much, there are a lot of homeless dogs at the shelter and when you have a good home, take care to keep it. Go along with the silliness, as long as there are treats at the end of the day.

I will suggest that your owner take you to the dog park daily, you need to socialize more often with other dogs. You should know that you never put two “gr or grr” in the first sentence when addressing a new dog, only one gr or grr is allowed until the sniffing is complete. If you are friends and this is the second or third time that you have sniffed, then two gr or grr’s would be allowed, but not loud ones. You can only get loud with the gr or grr’s after three meetings.

I also recommend that you work on your human language when you are at the keyboard, but always speak in dog when in the presence of a human, we can’t let humans know how much we understand or they will be assigning us chores. Look what they do to their own children as soon as they learn to speak, they make them clean their rooms, wash their hands and go to the toilet in the white water bowl in that little room. Dogs need to be as good at inter-human communication as they can to understand humans and their many moods. But never let humans know how much you understand his language, or you may find yourself sweeping up the patio.

Mogley

Goldens Win Again

The hits just keep on coming. The AKC released its listing of the most popular dogs in the country and Golden Retrievers came in 4th. Visit their site to see the actual rankings and you can click on your city to see how we fared in your particular location. http://www.akc.org/reg/dogreg_stats.cfm

Honolulu got it right. Golden Retrievers are ranked number one. I am sure the rest of the country will catch up some day. They probably need lots of balls rescued from the surf which is why Retrievers are cherished, or it could be they just have a better appreciation of beauty. I could see myself running in the surf or lounging under a palm tree with a young lady in a bikini scratching my ears or rubbing my tummy. Oops, I am infringing on my humans dreams; I could get in trouble for that.

Let us recap. The annual Eukanuba Most Beautiful Dog contest voted Golden Retrievers as number one. The AKC ranks us from number one to number four (depending on location) on the national most popular dog listing. The scientists that conducted a study of dog IQ, ranked us number four based on our ability to follow commands, but they forgot to add in our ability to communicate through our typing skills. We will be ranked number one on the IQ scale once they find out that Golden Retrievers can blog.

I want to point out a small problem. With Golden Retrievers being the most beautiful and the most popular, why don’t the humans put a mirror down where we can see it? I hope my human reads this and corrects the situation. Receiving that many accolades makes it hard to be humble. I hope they don’t have a contest to see which dog is the most vain, because in my humble opinion, Golden’s would place dead last.

Foxhounds placed last on the popularity ranking of 157 recognized AKC breeds. I wonder if we should have a telethon to raise money and raise awareness of their plight, helping to raise them up the chart? Where is Jerry Lewis when you need him?

Mogley G. Retriever

Mirror, mirror on the wall?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Eukanuba sponsored a contest to determine the most beautiful dog breed. This was in response to People Magazine and it’s Most Beautiful People issue. With over 2,000 people voting, the results are in and the winners are final. The winners of the contest are, (drum roll please), Golden Retrievers. The picture is of "Beautiful Dogs at Play". If you don’t believe that Goldens won, visit this web site to see for yourself. http://www.beautyofthebreeds.com/botbsurvey.jsp

A few blogs ago I wrote that based on a scientific study, Golden Retrievers were one of the top four smartest breeds of dogs. Now it turns out we are the best looking breed as well. Smart and handsome, what more can we ask?

As a life long Golden Retriever I knew we were the smartest. How many other dogs write blogs? Have you read a blog written daily by a Collie? How many Boxers write their life stories? How many Poodles post their activities on the Internet? I know Golden Retrievers are handsome; I get compliments every time we go for a walk. I get attention when I go in the pet food store with Bella, my step sister. People tell us how pretty we are.

Now I can prove we are the total package. Good looks and brains, plus we obey commands. What more can you ask for?

For those underprivileged humans that do not have a Golden Retriever in their home it is not too late. Operators are standing by to take your call and match you up with a deserving, homeless Golden Retriever, or other dog of your choice. And if you call in the next ten minutes, we will include a new best friend for life for no additional charge.

Visit a local rescue kennel, listen to the stories of the individual dogs and see how many very beautiful, well mannered dogs end up homeless through no fault of their own. A child develops allergies and a beloved family friend is suddenly in a chain link run at doggie jail. An elderly couple moves to a care facility and a well trained, well loved, dog is suddenly homeless. A soldier is sent to Iraq and the perfect companion is suddenly a lonely, bewildered dog, shivering in fear in a cage. All of these dogs are in doggy jail through no fault of their own, but to get out they need your help. There is no pardon, no retrial, and no second chance except through you. Someone else has potty trained him, leash trained him and taught him his manners, you only have to open your heart and your home to have the perfect companion, instantly. Adopt a homeless dog, provide a foster home for a dog in transition, and find a new best friend.

Golden Retrievers, bet you can’t love just one!

Mogley

p.s.: Try these links to find a deserving dog close to you:
http://www.grca-nrc.org/ is a listing of national rescues, there is one near you.
http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html Mogley’s favorite rescue, make a donation on line to a 501(c)3 organization, open your heart if you can't open your home.
http://www.goldenretrieverfreedom.com/ A Golden Source
There are hundreds of special breed rescues on line to help you find a new best friend.

Better Homes and Dogs

Each month Bella and I feature a different decorating tip for our doggy friends in Better Homes and Dogs. This month we feature the Golden Retriever in it’s natural habitat. As you can see, Bella and I have decorated the family room (our den) so that it offers a warm and friendly atmosphere. Christmas is over, Bella and I helped take down the decorations and we flattened them for easy storage. If you look closely you will see that Santa has lost a lot of weight. The white stuffing on the floor coordinates well with the snow outdoors, the empty toy carcasses shows that the residents are well fed and adjusted. The tug toys promote regular exercise and help to keep us in shape for those long walks on warm winter days. The dog bed beside the chair promises many ear scratches and head pats. When it comes to dog friendly decorating advice, "eat your heart out, Martha".

The result is a home that our doggy friends will feel right at home in. While any dog could enjoy the cozy decor, the addition of the duck makes it special for retrievers. We are submitting the photo to National Geographic in case they want to do a feature story on a pack of wild, ferocious Golden Retrievers and need an illustration of a typical den of Golden's in their natural habitat, the wilds of suburbia. The ability of a Golden to adapt to life in a warm heated home is truly one of the great survival stories of our natural world and a true testament to the law of the "survival of the fittest". The difference between wolves and Golden Retrievers is in the environment, you will never find a Golden spending the night in the snow or sleeping in a cave, wolves don't even eat from bowls, how barbaric!

Mogley

Dog Communication

Since my last blog post I have been thinking about the blog sites that have humans pretending to be dogs and writing fake dog-blogs. At first I could not explain why a human would pretend to be a dog, then it came to me; dogs are perfect, loved, obedient, attentive and man's best friend. Many humans are lonely, unappreciated and looking for a friend, so they pretend to be a dog on the internet hoping someone will love them. The dog impersonators are easy to recognize, they write using baby talk, they think dogs do not have command of the language. Understanding what humans say is easy; the difficulty is in understanding what they mean. Dogs have been man’s best friend for thousands of years by listening carefully and watching closely to what humans are saying. We have also learned how to ignore what humans say, which is how we have survived as mans best friend for thousands of years. Who do you think taught husbands how to ignore their wives and children how to ignore their parents?

Humans think that speech is the only way to communicate. Today a human friend stopped by to visit. I sniffed carefully as I greeted them at the door. It took over an hour for the visitor to explain that they had been to the mall where they bumped into an old friend, visited two stores and shopped for several hours.

I knew all of that after the fourth sniff when they walked in the door, I also knew they had not bought any dog treats at the store, they had given their own dog a pat on the head before they left home, their old friend has not quit smoking yet, they had pop tarts for breakfast and spilled juice on their shirt (it was frozen orange juice). Using dog communication, the whole visit could have been finished in three minutes, or five sniffs, which ever came first. Proof positive that the nose works better than the mouth for communicating.

Mogley

Wake up and smell the keyboard!

I have been reading Dog Blogs on the Internet. Did you know that most of the Dog Blogs are fake? They are written by humans! That’s right, fake dog blogs outnumber real dog blogs almost 100 to 1. I would like to see a human impersonate a dog at the local dog park, I would sniff him good, then lift my leg. Humans have no shame, impersonating a dog on the Internet! Either very few dogs have access to a keyboard at night when their owners are asleep, or we canines have become soft and lazy. Sure it is hard to type when your claws are not trimmed, but you can always run spell check and grammar check to catch most of the errors. Since dogs don’t need as much sleep as humans, there is plenty of time to write your blog and then proof read it while the humans in the house sleep. I understand some dogs don’t have much to say and don't want to blog, but most of us have plenty to bark about. Keyboards don’t smell good, but don’t turn up your nose at them; you only have to type on them. I was lucky that my human left his computer on the fireplace hearth at night so it is easy for me to write after they go to bed. You may have to "accidentally" knock the keyboard off of the table to get at it, or just climb up in the swivel chair and hope that it does not squeak when you write. Tonight when your resident human is asleep, get acquainted with your computer. If you nudge the mouse (they call that little oval thing a mouse) it will wake the computer up. Once the screen comes on, you can catch up on your reading, create your own blog account and get started telling the world the truth about dogs! Spell check is the F7 key; use it often or readers will think you are one of those fake dog blogs. We all know that dogs are too smart to let errors creep into their work, only humans use that baby talk stuff when they pretend to be dogs.

As a former homeless dog, I believe it is my obligation to reach out to dogs and help them find forever homes and to teach humans why they should take in homeless dogs. Remind your human that all dogs go to heaven, so when a human rescues a dog, someone will be in heaven to put in a good word for him. For some of the humans I have met, their dog will be the only “person” in heaven that will say anything good. If they don’t have a dog there, they are going to be very lonely if they are welcome at all. If you are one of those humans, you may want to rescue several dogs, but remember to treat them very well, they will get in the first word with the man up above. Remember to leave the keyboard where your doggy friends can reach it at night, we need more dogs writing blogs!

Mogley G. Retriever

Fetching Ducks

When I was just a tiny puppy, my mother told me that I could end up following several paths in life. I could become a spoiled big city dog, living a pampered life in an apartment, never having to work very hard, but never having much excitement either. I could become a helper dog, providing assistance to a handicapped human and traveling extensively. I could become a hunting dog, retrieving dead ducks from the middle of freezing lakes, spending time in the great outdoors with hunters, doing what I was bred to do. Or I could become a suburban dog living with a large outdoor yard, walks in the park, being pampered by my owner and maybe a squirrel or a duck to chase from time to time. I have been given the last and best path to follow. After a very upsetting time when I had no home and I was a scared lonely puppy in a chain link kennel, I was taken in by a rescue group, then placed with a foster family, and now I have been adopted and I have a Forever Home. I capitalize "Forever Home" because to a homeless dog, a Forever Home is very important. I now have a large yard on the edge of a park, lots of room to run, squirrels to chase, frequent walks in the park with my human and my Golden step sister, Bella. I get frequent trips to the dog food store where I get to pick out my own toys, we attend reunions with my fellow Golden Retrievers at the rescue kennels, and I have new experiences almost daily.

Today I was introduced to fetching Ducks. It may not seem like much to a casual observer, but "Mogley is my name, Retrieving is my game". It is only a stuffed duck but it will do for now. I have always been very interested in the ducks I see on our daily walks. The park is full of them and they come very close to the path when we walk. The human said he is using the stuffed duck to teach me how to properly retrieve objects. I have to learn to treat ducks gently. I love making the squeaky things squeak, but he says that I am not supposed to hold a duck that tightly and the squeaky thingy tells him when I bite down too hard. I don't have to go into the frozen lake to fetch them which is a big relief. For now we are just playing fetch in the back yard. The rules to the game of "Fetch the Duck" and the rules to the game of "Fetch the Ball" seem to be very similar. The difference is that the game of "Fetch the Duck" seems to be worth more treats. I am not sure why he wants dead ducks, but I am willing to play his game, as long as he shells out the treats.

Mogley

Broken Resolutions

It is already January 6th and I have not broken a single one of my resolutions but the resident human has broken several of his. My human thinks I missed several resolutions I should have made but didn't. He still yells at me for the same old things.

He thinks I should have resolved not to lick the dishes in the dishwasher. My pre-wash attachment is much more efficient and environmentally friendly than his pre-wash attachment. One of his resolutions was to be more environmentally friendly in 2008. But he yells at me for saving him energy by cleaning dishes. I also recycled the leftover food that was on the plates. Everyone knows a dog's tongue is more environmentally friendly than a dishwasher full of hot soapy water. I think he broke his resolution to be more environmentally friendly.

He took out the vacuum cleaner and destroyed the environmentally friendly home that I had created. He picked up all of the stuffing I had removed from the toys and put the remains of the toys in the toy box. I was only making the toys more useful, when I first received the toys they were overweight, they squeaked and made noise. After I finished, they were quiet, very flat and the living room looked much better with a white fluffy carpet. Then he started up the vacuum cleaner and destroyed it all. His resolution to be more tolerant of others went up in smoke, or up the vacuum cleaner as it were.

I resolved not to pull on the leash when we went for our walks. He resolved to be friendlier in the new year. When strangers passed on the walk, I greeted them by jumping up on them and showing them I loved them. He went into the "bad dog"routine again, yanking on my leash and telling me "no". He broke his resolution by not being friendly on our walk, he thinks I broke my resolution when I pulled on the leash. You be the judge.

Humans, they are so unpredictable. But after thousands of years we dogs still love them anyway. We are man's best friends, but I wish they would not test our limits so often.

Mogley

Happy New Year!

Humans make New Years Resolutions, it seems like a silly thing to do, they should be perfect like us dogs all year long. I get five or six “good dogs” per day which should make me close to being perfect already. How many "good human" praises do you think they get a day? To humor them I promised to make resolutions. I resolve to be a better dog in the coming year.

• I will not tear toys to bits only minutes after they come from the store, I will wait several hours before I destroy them.
• I will not run into the park when the front door opens.
• I will not pull on the leash just because a squirrel runs across our path.
• I will not pull on the leash just because there are good smelling things along the path.
• I will not chase the cats, when humans are watching.
• I will not uproot the house plants when I get bored.
• I will not lick plates and bowls that are left unattended.
• I will not lie down in the kitchen when someone is cooking.
• I will not leap up on visitors when I greet them at the door.
• I will not jump into the UPS truck when they deliver.
• I will not sniff on the counter when no one is looking.

Ok, I may not keep all of the resolutions, but I am sure I can keep one or two for a week or so. I bet I beat the humans, they won't keep any of them past New Years Day.

Mogley

Merry Christmas

I had two very Merry Christmas mornings. On Christmas morning we were late getting up, after all it had been a long hard night of work for a Reindog pulling Santa’s sleigh all over. When got up we found two fresh bones for our Christmas breakfast. Then we went to Jenny’s house to visit Emma, Molly and Piper, my golden cousins. With five Goldens and many relatives, it was a busy house. I counted 14 hands to pat heads and rub tummies. Bella and I each had two new rubber squeaky toys and two stuffed toys. Emma, Molly and Piper got new toys, but they don’t share as well as I do. We had fun getting in the way and stealing toys from one another.

Two days later when Brian returned home from his flights we had a second Christmas. Bella and I received new collars, they are very good looking collars, Bella’s collar is hot pink, mine is dark green. The human says that two fingers under a collar are not enough, there should be room for a whole hand, instead of fitting a tighter collar they train me to be a better dog, yea, sure. There was wrapping paper everywhere and presents scattered all over, soon the only thing left to open was an envelope, it was the very best present of all, it was an adoption certificate. Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies was going to let me stay with my foster parents, now I have a Forever Home!

I am very happy to finally know that I will stay here forever. We prepared an adoption certificate so that I could adopt them as my human family and they could adopt me as their dog. When we finished placing our hand and paw prints to the certificate there was not a dry eye in the place. To celebrate I tore the stuffing out of both of my Christmas toys, when I was done the floor looked like a snow storm had moved indoors. Now that I have a Forever Home, I will devote my life to helping other homeless dogs find foster homes on their way to finding their Forever Homes.

Mogley G. Retriever

Merry Christmas from Santa’s Reindog!

Santa uses Reindogs, not Reindeer to pull his sleigh. For hundreds of years, Reindeer have been getting the credit, and Reindogs have been doing the work. The reference in the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” to Santa and his eight tiny reindeer was an error; reindeer was easier for the writer to rhyme with than Reindogs. He knew that the eight members of Santa’s team were Reindogs, he just used poetic license. Talk about an inconvenient truth!

Who is it that pulls sleds and sleighs at the North Pole? It’s Dogs, not deer. Go look at the annual Iditarod race results and see how many teams of reindeer finished last year? There were over 50 teams with over 1,000 dogs and not a reindeer among them. How many Eskimos use reindeer to hunt walrus and seals? Just open your National Geographic magazine and see for yourself. They don’t show pictures of Eskimos hunting polar bears with reindeer. They use dogs!

Still not convinced? Santa’s last name is “Claus”, not Hoofs or Horns. They just misspelled Claws. It’s that poetic license thing again. So who has Claws? Not reindeer, but Reindogs do! Reindeer with their hooves could never keep their footing on the steep and slippery roofs that they have to land the sleigh on, but a dog’s paws with claws and pads grip the ice to keep their footing on the roof. At the end of the poem “He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,” finally the writer got it right. You don’t whistle at deer, you whistle at dogs!

“Dogs are man’s best friend”, but somehow you believe that reindeer bring your presents? That is the kind of logic that made Mr. Spock glad he was not human. Dogs are recognized as man’s best friend because we are responsible for bringing everyone their Christmas gifts, beginning at the manger, 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem when the very first Christmas presents were delivered and a dog helped guide the Wise Men, then stood watch over the gifts and the Christ child.

If you were Santa and it was your job to ‘Fetch” toys to children all over the world in one night, who would you turn to, reindeer or Reindogs? Not only are Reindogs the real heroes of Christmas, but Santa’s Reindogs are Golden Retrievers. Look at the pictures, are they golden colored? Are they long legged? Are they intelligent? Do they fetch toys to millions of boys and girls in one night? Go to any dog park and see how many reindeer bring tennis balls to little boys and girls. Golden Retrievers make children’s faces light up by fetching them toys and balls, doing every day what they do for millions of children on Christmas Eve. Proof the Reindogs are Golden Retrievers!

The Golden Retrievers of the world will be waiting for our apology from the press. We will expect the artists and movie producers to book Golden Retrievers for the publicity shots and movie rolls so that at long last Reindogs will get the credit due them.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Mogley the Golden Reindog!

To help a homeless Golden Reindog, go to http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html
Be a foster to a friend, put a homeless Golden Retriever under your tree!

Waiting for Christmas

Bella and I are excited waiting for Christmas. Our tree does not have as many ornaments on it as some other trees. I wonder where they all went? The shiny balls are sure fun to play with, and they make a nice noise when they break. I think I cut my foot on one of the broken ornaments and they had to wrap my foot up. The presents under the tree are empty boxes, they won't trust me with a real present, I unwrapped one already, it smelled good and I could not resist. The cat has unwrapped more presents than I have.

Bella and I made lists of presents we want. I made sure that Santa got an e-mail telling him that my human had called me "good dog" several times each day. If Santa wants to check up on me he can check with my human and find out that I am very well behaved, not like the dog I was when I first arrived. I used to run into the park every time I got a chance, but now I come right back home if I get out the front door. I always come when called. I always "drop" when they tell me to if I have a toy they don't want me to have. I sit on command and I am even getting good at "stay". I walk well off leash, and I don't pull when I am on leash. I even promise not to bark at Santa when he comes down the chimney. My human says I will probably sleep through the whole thing.

If I can persuade my human to bring home a homeless dog from doggie jail, we could make a lost and lonely dog happy for Christmas. Just a temporary foster for a few days would make a huge difference in another dogs life. Remember all the dogs in kennels during the Christmas season need love and a warm home.
Mogley

Dogs call humans home.

Dogs and humans still have a communications gap. Today when my human came home I was waiting for them with a picture from a magazine in my mouth. They were very upset, thinking that I had ripped up a magazine out of spite just because they left me alone.

Dogs don't destroy something out of spite, that is a human thing, dogs do it from love. We love you and you are not home. We have learned that when we do something bad, humans appear like magic out of nowhere to scold us. So when we want a human to come home, we pick something to chew on because that makes a human appear. It works most of the time, occasionally we have to chew on two items before they magically appear, but it works. By chewing on something we are not supposed to chew on, we can make our humans come home and that is what we love.

So next time you leave your puppy alone and find he has chewed on something while you were gone, remember that he was just trying to get you to come home quickly to show you he loves you. So give him a pet and a bone, show him that you love him too. After all, what is the value of a hole in an old hat or glove compared to the love of your best friend?
Mogley

Rules of the Game

Dog Soccer is played by very different rules than the humans use. The teams consist of only one dog on each team. First the Soccer ball has to be deflated, this is a simple task, and it only takes a few minutes of chewing to let the air out of it. Once it is properly deflated we can get a good grip on it. The game begins when one team tosses the ball into the play area; both teams grab the ball and pull, game on! No time outs are allowed, and no sissy referees to break up the game just when it gets going good. The winning team is the one that manages to keep the ball away from the opposing team for the longest time. The game goes on until the teams collapse on the ground and take their afternoon naps. If you are an only dog, you can try to get your human to play with you, but they never play as hard or for a long as a good dog play buddy will play. If you can take your ball to the dog park and maybe you can get a game going with someone there. Have fun playing, but be sure to follow the rules. Next week we will discuss the rules of the game of fetch and how to train your human to throw properly.
Mogley