Retrieving Ducks

The resident human keeps trying to make me work for my room and board. First he makes me fetch the newspaper from the front driveway in the mornings. Then he makes me chase the squirrels and raccoons out of the yard. He makes me bark when people come to the door or walk by in the park. He litters the lawn with tennis balls and expects me to pick them up. As if that was not enough, he is now making me fetch ducks. He told me that my ancestors were hunting dogs who would retrieve ducks and pheasants from the fields and ponds. He threw a fake duck into the pool and told me to "fetch". I swam out, checked out the duck, sure enough, it was fake. So I told him to give me a real duck or he could fetch it himself.

He complained about my attitude. He says that my ancestors had to swim out in muddy swamps, in freezing cold to retrieve wild game. He said that I have it easy, I swim out in clean, 80 degree water. If it is so easy, why doesn't he do it? Humans, you can't please them and they are very hard to train. .

Mogley G. Retriever