For Dogs Only!

ATTENTION: Blogging dogs, do not allow your humans to read this post. This blog is for Dog's eyes only!

Report on the DDW (Dogs Dominating the World) plan: Don't you just love it when a plan comes together? The plan to take over the world is progressing very nicely. Today we will review our progress in taking over the media.

We set out to dominate the Internet, through blogging and through information sites. We have succeeded. We have more than twice as many search engine items for "Dogs who blog", as you get when you search "Humans who blog". Tens of Millions of web sites are devoted to our care and feeding.

Then we set out to dominate print media. We were successful with Marley and Me, and Ceasar Milans books. Search Dog Books and you will find over 113,000,000 items. Far too many books are on training, humans do not yet realize that we are training them, not the other way around. We need more "How to Train Your Human" books on the market. Some dogs are obviously not yet in control of their homes. There are still dogs that allow a human to walk in front when they go for a walk.

Next we set out to dominate the entertainment and movie business. We started years ago with Lassie, Rin-Tin-Tin, White Fang and Old Yellow. Then we had Benji and Toto, The Saggy Dog, Turner and Hootch, followed by 101 Dalmatians, The Incredible Journey, the Lady and the Tramp, and All Dogs Go to Heaven. The last several weeks the best grossing movies were Marley and Hotel for Dogs. We still see re-runs of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Snow Dogs. Yes, we have established our domination of the Movies.

Next our goal was to take over TV with our programs on Animal Planet and national Geographic. Scooby-Doo and Wonder Dog opened the doors for The Dog Whisperer and Animal Rescue. Dog Tales is a new series, along with K-9 Cops on TV. The Westminster Dog Show is not yet in its place opposite the Super Bowl where it should be. We have made great progress in taking over the TV waves, but there is still progress to be made.

Step five of our plan is to plant one of our spies in the White House, we are proceeding with that plan and we expect to have our operative in place shortly. There are two candidates to become First Dog, and both of them are members of our secret canine society. We will soon have a secret operative inside the White House. Meanwhile, one of our most skilled operatives has retired and returned to Texas. Do not forget to thank Barney, the Bush family's Scottish Terrier, for his service to the Canine Cause. The "Barney Cam" was a wonderful way for us to receive detailed information on the inner workings of the White House.

Step Six is to take over radio, we still have some work to do on that part of our plan, any help we can get would be appreciated. At lease I did not hear the barking dogs Christmas Carols this year, that was progress. We apparently chased the Chipmunks off of the air this year as well.

Step seven was for us to run a candidate for the US Senate and US House. There are fourteen dogs that were successful in getting elected. In fact when we complete our inventory, dogs may have control of the US Senate. Obviously because of the secret nature of our plan, we can not name the dogs that were elected, disguised as humans, but you can probably identify them yourself.

We have just received a report on our plan to make humans more dependent on dogs. Our Canine Assistance Dog unit is making good progress in taking the lead in helping humans with disabilities. They report that soon they may have millions of people under their control and guidance.

Good Work fellows! The Dogs Dominating the World (DDW) society is progressing nicely. Just be sure your humans don't read this, we don't want them to be warned.

Mogley G. Retriever