Training my Human.

I found some books on the coffee table on non-verbal communication. I decided to work on training my master. It took some time but I finally trained my Foster to scratch my tummy when I roll over on my back. That was just a start; I decided to work on other non-vocal communications. I began by bringing my leash to him, actually I bring in Bella’s leash, mine is very small and no fun to carry. This is my signal to go for a walk. If he is in the wrong shoes, I bring him a new pair. It took quite a few tries but I think he has finally grasped the concept. They finally understood that when I bring a ball to them they are supposed to throw it. I am working on bringing him my food dish when it is meal time; he seems to be challenged by the concept of time. Training humans is difficult; they seem to be slow to grasp concepts.

I tried to help in the kitchen today. They were holding down a very dirty plate while they arranged things in the dishwasher. I turned on my “pre-wash” attachment and began to scrub the plate. You would have thought I had done something bad, they yanked the plate away and told me to stay away from the dishwasher. I am confused now. They put the dishes in there to make the dirt go away. I can make the dirt go away without any waste of water or soap, and do it with no effort from them. If they want to be environmentally correct, a Golden Retriever uses much less energy than a dishwasher. Humans are sure hard to understand!

Tonight I will dream of humans fetching my tennis ball!
Mogley

What is Methane?

“Cows are being unfairly blamed for global warming,” according to my foster dad. He thinks that as a source of methane in the air, Golden Retrievers should be examined more closely. “As a group, Golden Retrievers would beat cows hands (or tails) down, in both quantity and quality of methane produced” he said last night as he opened the doors and windows. I am not sure exactly what he means, but it sounds like another thing that we Golden Retrievers excel at. Are we good or what?

I am still torn as to what to call our Golden Retriever Squeaky Toy Band. Maybe I should seek suggestion from my blog readers. We also have to decide which songs we record. I know there are some doggone good songs for us. Hound Dog, an old Elvis hit is a natural. Old Dog Trey is a little dated for an up beat group like us. I will explore more of these in my next blog. It is unfair, there is an entire stage play about “Cats”. I have looked and looked, but there is no stage play or movie named “Dogs”. Where is the justice?

Just in case anyone has forgotten, there is still a kitten in my house. How do you deport an illegal alien?

Tonight I will dream of Squeaky Toy Concerts.
Mogley

How many squeaky toys make a band?

I have not written since my picnic blog. I have been busy though as you will soon see. On Monday, Pepsi, Emma and Molly came by for a play date. Five Golden’s romping in the back yard made a fun afternoon. Pepsi is still a little shy, she will need some time to get used to her new sisters, aunts and uncles. She is good at “dog door” and came and went often enough that the Fosters soon closed it, they were tired of hearing it go “flap, flap”.

The last two concerts in the park we attended were fine, but from a dog’s perspective they lacked squeaky toys. Guitars and drums are fine for humans, but they lack the depth and feeling that a squeaky toy can convey. We spent part of the day practicing on the squeaky toys. I plan on having a squeaky toy concert soon and I wanted everyone to become skilled in harmony. The squeaky toys in the balls sound much better, they responded faster and were much more intense. The squeaky things in the stuffed toys were rather muted and only good for background accompaniment. The practice session did not go as well as I had hoped, there were several tugging matches as various musicians attempted to take away the best squeaky toys from the other participants. The growling and barking accompaniment may lend another dimension to the concert. A few more practice sessions and we will be ready to headline our own concert on the green. Everyone promised to practice often when they went home. I need to do some research, there are some unanswered questions. Do five Golden Retrievers playing squeaky toys constitute a band or an orchestra? I will need to do some market research as well, some friends have recording equipment and we may want to release a CD. I remember hearing a terrible recording of dogs barking “Jingle Bells”; they were off key and not in harmony. We can beat that with our rendition of “Silent Night.” I worked into the evening on my solo part, that is until 10:30 when my foster dad took the squeaky toys away and hid them. He has no appreciation for fine music. He will be sorry when I am a big recording star, people everywhere will be listening to my recording of “Night Music”. My paw print will be on the sidewalk in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, they will be sorry they scrubbed my paw print off of the couch; it would be worth money some day. I think I look good with a squeaky ball in my mouth, don’t you? That is my large sized “bass” squeaky ball that I use for my solos.

Tonight I will dream of a squeaky toy concert.
Mogley