Monday, December 3, 2007

A Forever Home for Christmas

I bragged to Piper that we were both foster dogs, but I was going to be adopted and have a forever home as my Christmas present. Piper surprised me by telling me that her foster parents were going to adopt her also. They call us “Foster Failures” when a foster family takes in a temporary foster and adopts them permanently. We talked about why we had been accepted, loved and adopted in our new homes. Here are some tips to my fellow homeless dogs to help them find forever homes.

  1. Don’t let your human discover that you understand English better than he does, it makes them uncomfortable to have a woman or a dog who is smarter than they are. When I blog I always leave a mistake or two for the humans to find, it makes them fell good. You probably thought all those grammar errors were accidental!
  2. Humans are very food aggressive and they don’t like dogs that act greedy around food. When humans drop food on the floor, remember the 30 second rule, if they don’t grab it in 30 seconds, it’s yours!
  3. Humans can not resist a cute act, otherwise all cats would be homeless. Cats serve no purpose at all, and only cute explains why they are allowed in people’s laps. Act cute and offer humans heads to pat and ears to scratch, it works every time. I lie right beside the TV chair where they can reach down and pet my head or scratch an ear while they are watching TV. It makes them feel loved.
  4. Learn to fetch a ball; it is a skill no human can resist. Simply bring them a ball and they are putty in your paws. Why humans have this ball obsession I don't know, but it works every time.
  5. Bark at the door, even when there is no one there. It reminds them that you are a highly trained and skilled watch dog, without you they would be vulnerable to thieves, prowlers and wandering bears.
  6. Your human takes you for a walk to stay in shape and lose weight, pass it on by chasing the family cat regularly, it keeps them slim and trim as well.
  7. You need to perfect the look that Dave Barry points out to us in his quote: “You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

I hope the humans who read this will remember how cold and lonely a kennel can be when you are an abandoned dog during Christmas. Only you can be a foster parent to a lonely dog!

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