Five Hoursemen?

My human said there must be five horsemen of the Apocalypse. The Bible speaks to four of them, War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. He thinks they miscounted originally because there should have been one more of them, the fifth one should have been named Mogley! He says Mogley brings fleas, leaves, tree limbs, old tin cans and broken glass into the living room. He rearranges my closet. He digs holes in the back yard. He shreds toys, breaks tree limbs into tiny bits, scatterer's trash across the yard.

I think he is exaggerating to try and make me look bad. I don't do many bad things. I bring him his shoes, even when he does not want them. Sometimes I try and fetch his shoes when he is wearing them. I am careful to check the inside of all my toys for possible concealed bombs. I take out the stuffing to see if any contraband is hidden inside. Then I play with the squeaker until it finally stops making noise. My human should appreciate the way I convert noisy toys into nice quiet ones. I try and keep the cats from getting too fat by giving them regular exercise. If there is trash in the house, I take it outside, if there is trash outside, I take it inside. I greet people at the door and make them feel welcome. I let him know when the mail man comes by. I tell him when there are people in the park, walking outside of our fence.

I just don't understand what he is complaining about. I think he just has an insecurity. Maybe someday dogs will be able to understand human minds, in the meantime we just lick them and reassure them that we are still their best friends.

Mogley