Sunday, December 6, 2009

Reindogs, the true heros of Christmas

For our new readers, this blog has long been the leader in exposing lies and distortions in the media. Several years ago we first exposed how Reindeer have gotten all the credit for pulling Santa's sleigh, but Reindogs do all the work. This year we are asking for your help to spread the word and expose this cover up of the truth. As proof that Santa uses Reindogs, we have listed below the facts and truths that prove Reindogs are the real hero's of Christmas. Just because the Reindeer could claim endangered status and could afford better lobbyists and public relations firms does not make it right that they should continue getting the credit and all the good parts in the movies.

See the above photo of Bella and I with Santa, how many pictures do you see of Santa posing in malls with his reindeer? How many family photos show a smiling family gathered under the family tree with their faithful reindeer? Its always Reindogs, isn't it!


The reference in the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” to Santa and his eight tiny reindeer was an error; reindeer was easier for the writer to rhyme with than Reindogs. He knew that the eight members of Santa’s team were Reindogs, he just used poetic license. Talk about an inconvenient truth!

Who is it that pulls sleds and sleighs at Santa's home at the North Pole? It’s Dogs, not deer. Go look at the annual Iditarod race results and see how many teams of reindeer finished last year? There were over 50 teams with over 1,000 dogs and not a reindeer among them. If those reindeer are so good at pulling sleds, why don't they win the Iditarod race? How many Eskimos use reindeer to hunt walrus and seals? Just open your National Geographic magazine and see for yourself. They don’t show pictures of Eskimos hunting polar bears with reindeer. They use dogs!

Still not convinced? Santa’s last name is “Claus”, not Hoofs or Horns. They just misspelled Claws. It’s that poetic license thing again. So who has Claws? Not reindeer, but Reindogs do! Reindeer with their sharp, hard hooves could never keep their footing on the steep and slippery roofs that they have to land the sleigh on, but a dog’s paws with claws and pads grip the ice to keep their footing on the roof. At the end of the poem “He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,” finally the writer got it right. You don’t whistle at deer, you whistle at dogs!


One "Santa" pointed out that Santa's rounds might go faster if his Reindogs did not have to stop and smell each fire hydrant on their rounds, but we don't think he was a "real" Santa. That argument does not hold water, we have to stop with Santa on every street anyway. Those sniffs are how we update the long "Naughty and Nice List" that has to be kept up to date, even on Christmas Eve. Long before E-mail was invented, Reindogs used Scent-Mail (or P-mail as some would say) to find little boys and girls homes. Lets see a reideer do that!


“Dogs are man’s best friend”, but somehow you believe that reindeer bring your presents? That is the kind of logic that made Mr. Spock glad he was not human. Dogs are recognized as man’s best friend because we are responsible for bringing everyone their Christmas gifts, for protecting them and for bringing joy to children. Beginning at the manger, 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem, when the very first Christmas presents were delivered, a dog guided the Wise Men to the stable, A dog stood watch over the gifts and the Christ child all night long. History suggests that the bright star that guided the Wise Men was Sirius, the Dog Star (check Wickipedia to verify this). Hence the origins of Christmas and Reindogs!

If you were Santa and it was your job to ‘Fetch” toys to children all over the world in one night, who would you turn to, reindeer or Reindogs? Not only are Reindogs the real heroes of Christmas, but Santa’s Reindogs are Golden Retrievers. Look at the pictures, are they golden colored? Are they long legged? Are they intelligent? Do they fetch toys to millions of boys and girls in one night? Go to any dog park and see how many reindeer bring tennis balls to little boys and girls. Golden Retrievers make children’s faces light up by fetching them toys and balls, doing every day what they do for millions of children on Christmas Eve. Just try throwing a ball for a reindeer and see how good they are at "fetching". Proof the Reindogs are Golden Retrievers!

You all have heard that according to long standing tradition, you are asked to leave milk and cookies out for Santa and his team. Who do you suppose drinks all of that milk and eats all those cookies? Reindogs, that's who. Reindeer eat hay dummy, if you don't believe me go search Wikipedia. This year we are trying to start a new tradition, instead of milk and cookies, could you leave a good scotch and some chew toys?


The story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindog has long been a family tradition in our family. According to our family history that has been handed down from mouth to ear for many generations, Rudloph is an ancestor of mine. It all started with Great,great,great, great, great grandpaw. He had an extraordinary nose and had long used his special talent to track lost explorers and packages at the North Pole. He had a red nose from following scent trails in deep snow, his nose used to get cold and red from the exposure to snow and cold. One foggy Christmas eve Santa needed help in finding the route to take for his scheduled Christmas Eve run. Rudolph stepped forward and offered to guide the team by scent, thus saving Christmas that year and establishing a wonderful tradition, that is until the reindeer lobby stepped in to take credit for it all.


Most of the crowded dog shelters and homeless dogs are directly caused by this travesty. Millions of unemployed Reindogs have been thrown out of work by the upstart reindeer. The reindeer take all the good parts in the Christmas plays, manger scenes and movies, leaving Reindogs truly out in the cold.

The Golden Retrievers of the world will be waiting for our apology from the press. We will expect the artists and movie producers to book Golden Retrievers for the publicity shots and movie roles so that at long last Reindogs will get the credit due them. We need you to help us spread the word and reverse this great lie. Help us keep this great dream alive and tell others about the great heritage that has been stolen from us.


But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Mogley the Golden Reindog!

To help a homeless Reindog, go to http://www.goldenrescue.com/index.html or use the search function to find a rescue near you. Be a foster to a friend, put a homeless and unemployed Reindog under your tree!

8 comments:

  1. Well, I was too young to remember Christmas last time but I'll keep an eye out this year! :)

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  2. Woo GR's are sooooo furry smart!

    Tank woo fur your myth bustin' akhtivities!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra & Khousin Merdie

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  3. It's all coming very clear to us now.
    We knew their was a reason we felt all tingly on Christmas Eve.
    It because some of our Brother & Sister Goldens are the true captains of Santa's Sleigh.


    Hamish & Sophie

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  4. Great post!!!! Love the pic!!

    lotsa licks,
    Miley

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  5. Yes, we saw it exposed with Olive the other reindeer! You are so right! We know it's reindogs.

    love & wags,
    River

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  6. They is a great pic. It reminds me of my old golden retriever i had one I was younger.

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  7. I told Aspen about this post and she told me , she knew all along and had once even known a lonely reindog or two.

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