Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Doggone truth!

Someone asked me if my blog was the truth or was it made up? That is a silly question, everyone knows that dogs don't lie. Cats lie all day long, that is what they do. Dogs never tell anything but the truth. Except for blogs such as this, most dog/human communication is non vebal.

When we bark it is because there is a reason to bark. There may be someone at the door, or a truck drove by, or a squirrel has invaded the yard, or a cat trespassed on the dog path, or the mail man is late getting here, or a leaf blew by in the wind. There is always a reason.

When we drool it is because we see food, or we see you open the door where the food is kept, or we hear the crinkle of cellophane which may mean you are opening the treat bag, or we may smell cooking from next door, or we remember where we buried that bone we lost, but always there is a reason.

When our tail wags, it is never to lie, it is always for a good reason. Maybe you just came back from shopping and we need to greet you and tell you we missed you, or maybe we are complaining because we did not get to go along, or we may be hoping you will give us a head pat, or we may be asking for a treat, or just hoping for a treat, or because we have been sleeping on the couch and we hope you won't notice, or we chased the cat while you were gone and it sure was fun, or we maybe we have a tail cramp from napping in the wrong position, but always there is a reason.

No, dogs don't lie. If you took all of the great fiction in the world that was written by dogs, put it in on one shelf in the library, you would have a shelf full of blank paper.

The fact that dogs don't lie is also the reason we don't run for public office. Could a dog on TV say, "My opponent has accepted tainted dog bones as bribes for not barking at intruders?" Could a dog make a speech and accuse his opponent of "Being a serial cat chaser?" Could we say, "My opponent is a bitch?" No! Except for the part about the opponent being a bitch, that might be true.

All of my blogs are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Well, maybe there is a little exaggeration now and then, but it is just poetic license,. That is the excuse the reporters on the evening news use for their lies, why can't I use it to? The dog rescue stories are all true, but some of the Santa Clause information has been "tweaked" to protect the innocent.

Mogley G. Retriever

1 comment:

  1. How true, how true. That expression about "you lie like a dog" in totally incorrect. It's probably a contraction of "you lie down quite comfortably like a dog." That would make more sense. Our cats, Boru, Alex and Jenny, don't seem to lie either. In fact, non of TBH ever lie. IF Dad gives us treats before he goes to work and then Mom asks us if Dad had given us our treats already, we NEVER lie. If Alex eats Boru's dinner and Mom asks him if he did, Alex never lies. If jenny screams real loud and Mom comes to see why and she asks Boru if he's been bugging Jenny, Boru never lies. Come to think about it, none of us bumpass Hounds do a lot of responding to questions from Mom and Dad unless ita "Do you want a..." type of question to which we all always reply YES.