Tuesday, October 28, 2008

GRRREAT Halloween Party

Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies hosted a GRRReat Halloween party for both dogs and humans on Sunday. Humans think that Halloween is a human holiday or event. They don't realize that dogs are the real reason for Halloween. Dogs created Halloween as a time to practice the skills necessary for hunting. By holding an annual competition between dogs to see who can best disguise themselves in order to stalk prey, they created a holiday that the humans have embraced and even taken over for themselves. Dogs use many disguises in order to stalk their prey. For example, one excellent disguise (see below) is a Golden Retriever in a frog costume. How better to hunt ducks in a lake or pond than to disguise yourself as a frog and hide in the pond? What cunning hunters we Golden Retrievers are.

Halloween has been taken over by humans, in response, the disguises dogs use have evolved to allow for our new hunting grounds and hunting tactics. Now we hunt in the malls, kitchens and yards of people. Our prey is no longer deer, pheasants, ducks or bears, now we stalk the elusive tennis ball and the wily Milk Bone. Hence the new disguises we are forced to wear. While camouflage worked better in the fields and streams where we used to hunt, today, "Cute" earns more treats. Being stealthy in the field is a traditional approach, but dressing up in ribbons and bows, no matter how embarrassing, is the best way to capture snacks.

The picture below shows a very good disguise to use in chasing the elusive tennis ball, disguise yourself as a baseball player. What a cunning way to capture the wild balls in left field.
There were a lot of tennis balls being thrown, the dogs were busy retrieving them for the humans. Why do humans have such a surplus of tennis balls that they can throw them away so casually? Golden's know that tennis balls are very valuable and we attempt to retrieve them as often as possible. There was also a lot of food on the tables, food that could have been used to feed a hundred starving dogs. The humans hogged it all, brats and hot dogs by the dozen, salads and so many deserts I could not even count them on four paws. There was a silent auction for many gift baskets, toys, books and wine. The official Golden Retriever gift table was full of sweat shirts, jackets, hats, t-shirts, statues and figurines, pictures, writing paper, note pads and wall hangings, all for sale to the Golden-Aholics. A lot of Christmas shopping took place for the Golden fans of the world.

We were lucky enough to have a visit from a couple that had just come from an appearance on the Jerry Springer show, along with their delinquent child, a recent GRRR graduate.
We had the mandatory hot dog, complete with mustard and a soda.
One disguise that should result in a lot of plunder is the political disguise, shown below. By disguising themselves as politicians running for office, Golden's can accept many treats, there is no limit to the amount of contributions you may make to a dog campaign. We all know that politicians get all the good stuff, mostly under the table, but we will take our treats wherever we can find them. Their platform is certainly one that we can all agree with.
Cute seemed to dominate the costume show. In the pictures below a lot of dogs have lost their self respect, not to mention their ability to move unseen across the hunting fields. Still, the goal is to capture treats and toys, and several dogs went home with huge baskets of goodies, prizes for pandering to their humans taste in frilly outfits. What works, works, I guess. Times change and so must our hunting tactics. Our cousins came as Greek Gods, Emma, Piper and Molly were covered in frilly stuff. It was a great costume, but not too practical for hunting or chasing balls. Still, it did earn them treats, head pats, compliments and even a tummy rub or two.
Bella and I went as ourselves, we wore our Reindog outfits. We did not win a prize, but I guess that is to be expected since we were not really in disguise, going as ourselves. We did bring one of Santa's helpers to vouch for our authenticity. At least, now, there can be no doubt about Reindog's being the real hero's of Christmas and Reindeer being a fraud. Now you know, Reindeer do not pull Santa's sleigh, it is done by sure footed Reindogs. They are the real hero's of Christmas, fetching presents to children all over the world on Christmas eve. You cannot deny the truth! This Christmas you should leave eight dog treats along with the milk and cookies. Since Reindogs carry the real work load, we need the energy from the snacks. Santa could use a few less snacks, if you don't mind, cut back on the milk and cookies a little please. That sleigh is pretty heavy when loaded with gifts, if Santa would lose a few pounds we could make our rounds a lot faster, and haul a greater load of toys. It is a win-win for children everywhere.Thanks for your help in spreading the truth about this terrible fraud that is being perpetrated by members of the deer family.


Mogley G. Retriever

4 comments:

  1. Hi Mogley,

    I know the humans had all the food and all, but I can teach you a trick or two -- you just steal the food from the humans when they aren't looking. I stole a brat from a lady in a wheelchair. Witnesses will tell you, I just sucked it right out of the bun. Mom said that was very rude and that she was embarrassed. I say that lady should have protected her brat better. I also got some licks of quiche off the potluck table. If I tell you anymore, Mom won't feed me tomorrow. But just stick with me next time and I'll show you how it's done. I'm in the process of teaching River. River became my official brother on Sunday. Now there is an equal number of dogs and cats here at our house -- the playing ground is a little more even. Thanks for all the great pics from the party! You did a great job!

    Love,
    Riley (and River)

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  2. Those are GRReat pictures mogley. Sounds like you saw an awful lot of characters and had an awfully good time!

    Jaime

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  3. Heya Mogley,
    Nice outfit guy. That party looked like way too much fun. Let us know when youse guys do it again cuz we wanta book a flight on Southwest to comme attend, just us 9 dogs cuz the 3 cats are staying home. The Newfs wear Panda costumes all the time because they're Landseers.
    - TBH

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