Friday, November 20, 2009

A Miss-Diagnosis

I don't agree with my most recent diagnosis. No, not the diagnosis about my heart, that one I take pills twice a day for and exercise regularly, that one has been confirmed by several specialists. I have even seen the heart pictures when they did an echo cardiogram and ultrasound.

No, I disagree with my chauffeur's recent diagnosis. They did not even call the vet to check their diagnosis professionally. Instead they diagnosed my ailment themselves. Talk about "do-it-yourself". Isn't there some kind of law against people practicing medicine without a license?

Most dogs dream about chasing squirrels or rabbits and they start running in their sleep, some even bark in their sleep. But not me, I like to be different. It all started when I kept waking everyone up in the middle of the night with my tail wagging and thumping on the floor. To make it worse, they wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me not to wag my tail which only makes my tail go faster. They did some research on the Internet and came back with a diagnosis of "Restless Tail Syndrome". They said that they might have to treat it by tying a weight on my tail at night so that they could sleep.

Two can play that game. I did some research on the Internet myself and found that their diagnosis was incorrect. I found that my symptoms all matched a problem that is suffered by all Golden Retrievers and many other dogs as well. I suffer from "Chronic Happy Tail".

The prescribed treatment for "Chronic Happy Tail" or CHT is lots of petting, lots of treats, lots of ball tossing and chew toys. Bella suggested that a much larger and softer bed would keep my tail from thumping on the floor in the night. Bella said that it might be contagious and that she should receive the full treatment also, just in case. Bella thinks that CHT is not a problem and if it were a problem it would likely be transmitted by squirrels and therefor her squirrel chasing obsession is really just her attempt to protect us from the syndrome. Still, treating it with soft beds and treats seems to be the best approach.

What do you think? Is CHT a problem at your home? How do you deal with it in your home? Is there a professional reading this blog that can correct the mistaken diagnosis so that I don't end up getting treated for "Restless Tail Syndrome" instead of my real problem, CHT?

Mogley G. Retriever


  1. OMD!

    Woo need to khome to Pawsylvania and see Merdie!

    She's got it too!

    Of khourse, hers is KhHT!

    We just have to say the word Merdie toy walk biscuit out etc and it thwaps!

    Just this afternoon Mom kept watching her walk and marvelling at it!


  2. I think you should tie a weight on THEIR tail and see how they like it! :)

    I love the CHT diagnosis. Jack has CHT ALL the time, not only when he sleeps. CHT when he eats, CHT when he sees another puppy, CHT when he sees people!

    Thank you for letting us know what to call it!

  3. Oh hi! We'll agree with the Chronic Happy Tail....and the nice snuggly bed and endless treats, ball playing and snaggle toys. Haven't experienced this one, myself...but if it is definitely CHT and those are definitely the treatments....I'M IN!

    Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
    Sierra Rose

  4. This is something all us Golden's have. We are always wagging, asleep or awake

    Hamish & Sophie

  5. Beagles have it too! And Summer our dalmatian--her tail is fast! She can knock a heavy vase off a table--it's like a white whip, my mom says. I like the treament for it!

    love & wags,

  6. Hi Mogley,

    You should email your members for Congress. I read the House health care bill, but CHT was nowhere to be found. 2000 pages and not a mention.

    With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I hope you will do a blog about the role of dogs for removing the stuffing. We have our dogs practice it all year, but seldom allow them to perform this critical task.

    Best Regards

  7. C-H-T is a way of life. We have it times 4. Each one of us fellas has a different beat to our drummin'. I got thwak, thwak. Tiger goes thwayety,thwakety thawk. Coop goes thump, thump. Lance is a combo - thwak, thumpity thump.

  8. We have major CHT at our house, 'specially when it's time for walkies! But Mom caught Sunny, the foster dog, wagging his tail in his sleep the other day, while she was watching him on the pet cam from work! She thought it was quite adorable. Mom likes Happy Tails -- she says it makes her happy too! She has witnessed both of us wagging our tails while dreaming. But so far we haven't woken her up at night so maybe that's why she doesn't mind.

    Hugs and kisses,
    Riley and River and Sunny the foster dog

  9. Hey Mogley, We think that you DO NOT have a problem; it's the peeps that have the problem. They obviously suffer from VLSS; very light sleeper syndrome. That is easily treated with a shot or two of whiskey just before bed time or a couple of little blue pills that they can buy at any local drug store. Fortunately for us ou dad used to live on aircraft carriers when he was in the Navy, the air wing guys always sleep in room right below the flight deck. Dad says some room even had a thing called a catapult track that ran right throuh them. He said that noise was something you just learned to live with He calls his condition STADP; sleeps through any din possible. Mom on the other hand occassionally resorts to one of the two remedies mentioned earlier. Sophie suffers from STEC attacks while she's sleeping; STECS is Swimming The English Channel Syndrome. Radr suffers from WUACOTPWBS attacks, usually at 3:00 AM; WUACOTPWBIMCS is Wake Up And Crunch On The Plastic Water Bottle In My Crate Syndrome. When Max and Shiloh used to sleep in the big bedroom they suffered from periodic episodes of SLWABITBADS that usually woke up even the dad, hence they now sleep in crates in the attached garage kennel; SLWABITBADS is Severe Let's Wrestle And Bump Into The Bed And Dressers Syndrome. Max weighs about 155lbs and Shiloh weighs about 165lbs. SLWABITBADS manifestations are worse the bigger and heavier the dogs that suffer from it. So your peeps don't have it bad with one small case of Happy Tail.
    - TBH&K