Monday, February 11, 2008

If dogs were in charge:

Sniffing would replace hand shaking when dogs and people greet one another. Handshaking is so unsanitary, you never know where that hand has been!

Dog food would be delivered in big trucks instead of little bags. Trucks would just back up and deliver a huge supply, and it would be good stuff, the dog food would all be marked “USDA Choice” and would all have a fresh bone in them.

Balls would throw themselves so we don’t have to wait till the human gets around to throwing the ball after we fetch it.

The refrigerator’s ice dispenser would dispense bones and treats instead of ice.

The collar on the leash would go around the human’s neck and we hold the loop end in our mouth so that when we want to follow that rabbit trail the human comes alone with us. Squirrels can be chased and the human has to keep up or we give them a good yank on the leash.

Toys would put themselves back together every night so we can tear them apart again during the day.

Squirrels would all have a limp to slow them down.

No one would be allowed to come near my back fence unless he has a pocket full of treats.

Cats would be required to stay off of furniture, dogs would be allowed on the furniture. Humans would be allowed on the furniture if they have been "good humans" all day.

Cats would be treated for their drug habit; catnip addiction would be recognized as a threat to household harmony.

All cars would be required to have one window that opens to dog nose height so that we can ride comfortably with our nose out the door, ears in the wind.

All humans would be required to adopt a dog so no dog has to be in the doggy jail.

Dog catchers would catch humans who are caught walking the streets without their dog, they would be locked up until their dog bails them out and they agree to walk their dog every day.

Daily tummy rubs and ear scratches would be required or else the human would have to sleep on the floor beside the bed instead of being allowed to share the bed with the dog.

A Man is Dogs best friend!

Paws up for Dog Power:
Mogley G. Retriever

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