Saturday, January 5, 2008

Broken Resolutions

It is already January 6th and I have not broken a single one of my resolutions but the resident human has broken several of his. My human thinks I missed several resolutions I should have made but didn't. He still yells at me for the same old things.

He thinks I should have resolved not to lick the dishes in the dishwasher. My pre-wash attachment is much more efficient and environmentally friendly than his pre-wash attachment. One of his resolutions was to be more environmentally friendly in 2008. But he yells at me for saving him energy by cleaning dishes. I also recycled the leftover food that was on the plates. Everyone knows a dog's tongue is more environmentally friendly than a dishwasher full of hot soapy water. I think he broke his resolution to be more environmentally friendly.

He took out the vacuum cleaner and destroyed the environmentally friendly home that I had created. He picked up all of the stuffing I had removed from the toys and put the remains of the toys in the toy box. I was only making the toys more useful, when I first received the toys they were overweight, they squeaked and made noise. After I finished, they were quiet, very flat and the living room looked much better with a white fluffy carpet. Then he started up the vacuum cleaner and destroyed it all. His resolution to be more tolerant of others went up in smoke, or up the vacuum cleaner as it were.

I resolved not to pull on the leash when we went for our walks. He resolved to be friendlier in the new year. When strangers passed on the walk, I greeted them by jumping up on them and showing them I loved them. He went into the "bad dog"routine again, yanking on my leash and telling me "no". He broke his resolution by not being friendly on our walk, he thinks I broke my resolution when I pulled on the leash. You be the judge.

Humans, they are so unpredictable. But after thousands of years we dogs still love them anyway. We are man's best friends, but I wish they would not test our limits so often.


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