Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Wake up and smell the keyboard!

I have been reading Dog Blogs on the Internet. Did you know that most of the Dog Blogs are fake? They are written by humans! That’s right, fake dog blogs outnumber real dog blogs almost 100 to 1. I would like to see a human impersonate a dog at the local dog park, I would sniff him good, then lift my leg. Humans have no shame, impersonating a dog on the Internet! Either very few dogs have access to a keyboard at night when their owners are asleep, or we canines have become soft and lazy. Sure it is hard to type when your claws are not trimmed, but you can always run spell check and grammar check to catch most of the errors. Since dogs don’t need as much sleep as humans, there is plenty of time to write your blog and then proof read it while the humans in the house sleep. I understand some dogs don’t have much to say and don't want to blog, but most of us have plenty to bark about. Keyboards don’t smell good, but don’t turn up your nose at them; you only have to type on them. I was lucky that my human left his computer on the fireplace hearth at night so it is easy for me to write after they go to bed. You may have to "accidentally" knock the keyboard off of the table to get at it, or just climb up in the swivel chair and hope that it does not squeak when you write. Tonight when your resident human is asleep, get acquainted with your computer. If you nudge the mouse (they call that little oval thing a mouse) it will wake the computer up. Once the screen comes on, you can catch up on your reading, create your own blog account and get started telling the world the truth about dogs! Spell check is the F7 key; use it often or readers will think you are one of those fake dog blogs. We all know that dogs are too smart to let errors creep into their work, only humans use that baby talk stuff when they pretend to be dogs.

As a former homeless dog, I believe it is my obligation to reach out to dogs and help them find forever homes and to teach humans why they should take in homeless dogs. Remind your human that all dogs go to heaven, so when a human rescues a dog, someone will be in heaven to put in a good word for him. For some of the humans I have met, their dog will be the only “person” in heaven that will say anything good. If they don’t have a dog there, they are going to be very lonely if they are welcome at all. If you are one of those humans, you may want to rescue several dogs, but remember to treat them very well, they will get in the first word with the man up above. Remember to leave the keyboard where your doggy friends can reach it at night, we need more dogs writing blogs!

Mogley G. Retriever

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