Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dogs to the Rescue!

Our friends at the Bumpasshounds, (see them at reminded us that in these tough times, man's best friend may have to pitch in and help the humans make a living and earn money for the food in the bowls or to make the payments on the house. On April 1st, they posted a blog about running out of kibbles, but the reality is that many humans and their dogs are losing their homes in these trying times.

Bella, Sassy and I put our minds to work to determine what we could do to help out. The following are our suggestions. If you have more, let us know.

  1. We will open the Golden Pest Control Service, charging by the month to keep squirrels, rabbits and stray cats out of neighborhood yards.
  2. We will start a paper delivery service, bringing in papers from the front yard. I run out each morning to pick up the paper and bring it inside. Its an easy way to get a treat. We should be able to get five or six customers on our block.
  3. The Fat Cat Diet and Exercise Service: Have a fat cat? Want him to lose weight? We can exercise your cat for you and keep him healthy at the same time. If we call it a "Cat Spa" we can double our prices.
  4. The Golden Guard service: We will keep a watch on your lawn and garden for a few bones a day. Would you like to rest well, knowing you will not be burglarized in the night? Call the Golden Guard Service.
  5. The Golden Chauffeur Service: I have been practicing driving when we wait in the parking lot at the store. It can't be all that hard, you see humans doing it without paying any attention at all. Plus I already have a license, it just does not have my picture on it.
  6. Dishes Cleaned While You Wait! I can clean a plate so that it shines. Plus I am environmentally friendly. No wasted detergent to pollute our streams, no wasted hot water and a huge savings in electricity.
  7. The Golden Disposal Service. Are you tired of hauling all that trash out to the curb? I can clean out a trash can in just a few minutes.
  8. The Golden Spa Service. Instead of spending money on those silly lotions and creams that you put on your face at night, we will lick your face clean in an environmentally sound manner. Want to have your pores cleaned? Golden's give your face a real glow!
  9. The Golden Doctor is in! Don't waste money paying that counseling service or psychologist to help you cope with these bad times, tell all of your troubles to a Golden. We listen well, we don't pass judgement or make accusations. We don't tell you to change your bad habits. Best of all, we don't send you a bill.
  10. Pet a Golden, 10 cents. Instead of a lemonade stand at the busy corner, I think we should just station Bella and I at the corner and let the frantic passerby give us a pet and a dime to help them calm down.
  11. The Golden Gym. Add a leash and we will help you stay in shape. Stop paying membership fees to a club you don't attend anyway, pick up a leash and you can be losing weight and feeling better in a mile or two.
  12. Golden Garden and Landscape Service: We are experts at cleaning up sticks and limbs in the yard. We are very good at digging holes to plant trees and shrubs in. We can rearrange your landscape in no time flat.

If your family tells you they can't buy you as many treats and toys as they used to, just pitch in and help out. Having trouble balancing your budget? Your best friend can help!

And you thought we were just good for fetching tennis balls?

Mogley G. Retriever


  1. Those are some great ideas Mogley! I don't feel like I've gotten near enough treats lately. I think I need to get to work helping out.


  2. Hey Mogley, Bella & Sassy,
    Boy, youses have just about covered all the good jobs available for canines. You can probaly start also The Golden Lawn & Garden Fertilzer Service. It should be pretty easy to bomb a lawn or garden, after all, stuff happens.
    - TBH

  3. Mogley! This is your best work yet! How about a job in bark radio? Or a book deal?


  4. Boodles is very happy to find some ways of helping with the economic crisis here in our household. Juniper, however, says that all of those jobs are beneath her, and the only thing she is interested in is a modeling career.